Return
by Sueona
Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst.

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Well, here is the first chapter of a new story. Please tell me what you think.

Chapter One:

The entire place was dark. No sound came, silence. No one was around. Not one single person could hear the rant of a serial killer. Of course to him, he was god, justice, and the protector of innocence.

"I am god!" The young man yelled at the world of nothingness.

A chuckle rang out in the darkness. The young man knew that voice well and he wanted it to disappear. It would never be good to have the man he killed seeing his disgrace. He lost to Near and Mello who never could compare to the great detective. Turning his head, he stared out into the darkness.

"Why do you torture me?"

"I did not come to torture Raito-kun."

"Then, why did you come?"

"To see my first friend."

"I was never your friend."

"Maybe not to Raito-kun, but to me Raito was my friend."

"You are a liar."

"Even though Raito-kun does not wish to admit it, I still believe we were friends at some point."

Ratio laughed loudly. He never was L's friend. He played the older man for a fool. Their friendship was a lie to try to take the other down. He won that game. He defeated the great detective.

L stared at the young man who became a friend to him. He felt sorry for the other man. The power of the death note corrupted Raito. Raito would have been a great detective like him if he chose that path. As he hunched over, he stuffed his hands into his pockets. There was not enough time to save the one who was his first true friend. Sighing loudly, he replied to Raito laughing, "Raito can lie all he wants but at one point we were friends."

"L, you are a fool. It was a game between us. I won."

"You lost in the end like I knew you would. My sacrifice was needed to win the war against a murderer."

"I WAS GOD!"

"Raito was not a god but a foolish human who thought power could stop crime. It was a foolish belief."

Before Raito could rant out his rage, a female voice interrupted them, "It is time, L Lawliet. There is no more time for you being here. Say your goodbyes."

"Wait! You are leaving me alone!" Raito yelled.

Turning to look at the poor fool who got caught up in something that should have never been in the hands of a human, L sighed sadly, "I only came to see you. I do not belong here."

"So you came to gloat."

"What difference does it matter why I came when Raito will never believe my words?"

"Leave L. I do not need you or anyone for that matter."

"That is not what Raito said when faced with death. Raito wanted someone to come to save him."

"ENOUGH!" The female voice rang out in the darkness. "Your time is up."

He turned to the female in the darkness, waiting for something. He looked back at the young man he could not save. Could there be a way to stop everything? They were friends before and he wanted that back. Hunching over even more, placing his thumb across his lower lip, and biting the thumb, L asked, "Could we change this?"

"You ask for a lot, L Lawliet." The voice replied. "He is not worth the sacrifice."

"What are you talking about?" Raito asked rudely.

As his dark eyes land on Raito once more, L smiled sadly. Yes, it was worth the sacrifice. He didn't understand why he felt the need to save a mass-murderer. Maybe it was because Raito was his first friend. Maybe it was for another reason. When he looked back at the higher being, he nodded his head and retorted, "He is well worth it."

Sighing loudly, listening to the young murderer scream out his rage, the female smiled while she spoke, "I see. Maybe one day you will see as well, L Lawliet." Before either of the two young men could say a word, she raised her hand and every part of the darkness lit up white. Watching as the men began to disappear, she whispered, "Hopefully you will see this time around."

Everything became silent once more. The place was empty again. The young female disappeared and prayed for the safety of the two young men. She does not know what fate holds for them. She gave Raito one more chance.

Waking up quickly, L found himself in the bed at the Wammy House. As he scanned the area, he realized that he needs to work quickly. Time was not on his side. It might be his only chance to save the young man he failed the first time. As he swung his legs off the bed, he thought, "I will save Raito this time even though I will pay the price of giving him another chance."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst.

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for the reviews/comments for the first chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Please tell me what you think.

Chapter Two:

Everyday was like any other day, wake up, get ready, go to school, and make the perfect scores. Yes, it was boring and he hated it. Nothing ever changed. The world was the same, nothing new going on. He only wanted something new and exciting in his life. As he sat at the kitchen table, eating his breakfast, he thought so many things. Starters were about the dreams he kept having. He could not figure them out. One man who looked like he was homeless always stared at him in sadness. Why was he dreaming about some poor fool that meant nothing to him? When his father sat at the table, Raito pushed all thoughts aside and asked, "How is work going?" It was the only topic he could talk to his father about. They really didn't have anything else in common.

Looking at his son like a proud father should, Yagami spoke, "The same except we are having a detective come in today."

"A detective?"

"I am not sure why he would be coming." Yagami responded. "He is known as L. L is not the type to come around when we do not have cases that interest him."

"That is very odd that he would come then." Raito retorted. He stopped talking as his sister and mother came into the room. One thing he learned was they do not like to hear about his father's job. After all, his father was gone for long periods of time because of his job. Why bring it home with them?

Sachiko asked, "How is school going Raito?"

"The same, mother."

"Please, you are scoring perfect every course, brother." Sayu remarked happily.

Smiling at his younger sister, Raito retorted, "As I said, the same." His sister laughed loudly while his mother shook her head. His father looked at him proudly. What would they say if he said that he was bored? Would they try to take away his boredom? He would never tell them. It would ruin his perfect image.

After eating his food, Yagami stood up and sighed sadly, "I have to head to work early today. I will see you later."

As he father left them at the table, Raito continued to eat while thinking about what his father said earlier. What would it be like to be a private detective like L? Would it stop the boredom he felt? When the dishes are cleared, he stood up and replied, "I am heading to school."

Sachiko responded, "Make sure to bring home your test scores."

Raito nodded his head and left. It was the same like always. He wanted to have something exciting in his life. He started to think about his dreams once more. Never before did he remember his dreams so well, but these seemed to stay with him. They haunt him because of the man who stood there, staring at him. For some odd reason, he felt respect for the man and enjoyed the other's presence, but he also felt a deep hatred for the man. It was confusing and he could not stop thinking about the man who looked like he was homeless. Shaking such thoughts from his mind, he continued to walk to his school. There was no point in thinking about meaningless dreams.

Across the street, a young man was hunched over with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets, staring at Raito. Sighing loudly, he whispered, "Maybe this time around we could just be friends without the harsh rival between us."

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Of course it is, Watari. I would not have risked it all for any less."

"He might not change at all."

"I know." L responded. "It is what I fear the most. Kira was a strong hold on him in the past and hopefully I can save him this time."

Touching L's shoulder, Watari sighed sadly, but doesn't say a word. What could he say? Nothing would change the young man's mind. He has seen that for many years. The only thing he worried about was the part where L suffers for the mistakes of the young man.

Closing his eyes, L sighed. He knew he would at some point meet the other man. He has to soon or else everything he has done will be a waste. As his hands curled, he mumbled, "It must work." When the hand of his guardian left his shoulder, he sighed, "It is time to make our plan work. I am glad you believed my words."

"I have never doubted you before. I wasn't about to now."

"It is hard to believe I lived through all this before."

"It is different this time."

"Yes. Kira does not exist."

"You have hope to save him."

"He was my friend even if he never believed our words. When we were together twenty-four seven he was a good friend. He was the only one who understood me."

"You want that back."

"Yes, I do, Watari." L responded. Moving away from his caretaker, he whispered, "We have our acts to play. It would seem you are needed at the police station as I must be going." He headed the same way Raito did. It was time to become a friend to the one he remembered well. His heart beat faster than before. What were these strange feelings inside of him? Could it be excitement to have his old friend back?

At school, Raito sat in his chair like everyday, half listening to the teachers talk about stuff he already knew. Yes, boredom was eating him alive and he hated it. He wished to have something exciting in his life to erase the boredom he felt. As his eyes land outside, he wondered could the world be just this, boring. While thinking more about the world, he realized it was rotting away like nothing. What would he do if he had the power to change the world? That question struck a cord within him. It almost like he remembered having power to do just that. Of course, that was impossible. He heard the door open and other students gasped, but he ignored everything. It was probably a student late for class, nothing exciting.

The teacher spoke, "Everyone, please welcome our new student, Ryuuzaki."

Everything froze in place and it frightened him. Sounds around him stopped or rather he could not hear them. That one name caught his attention for an odd reason. It was familiar somehow. His head turned and he almost gasped out his surprise. The man who stood there was the same man in his dreams. How could that be possible? As dark eyes met his, he froze in his seat. Everything disappeared from view but those dark eyes.

_A figure lay on the ground in his arms, looking up at him with a mixed expression. He grinned down at the fallen person. Those eyes read, 'I knew, but I lost.' It was a look of defeat but something else was there. There was another look within those eyes. He could not read it. He could not tell what the other was thinking once again and he hated that the most. _

It was almost the same look he was gaining. Before he could break down, those eyes left him. His chest stopped hurting. As he glanced down at his book, he found his pencil broke from holding it too tightly. Who could this person be? Why did he dream about him? What was going on? This was not like him at all. Calming down, he watched the new student sit a few chairs before him. All he could see was that horrible black hair. Tilting his head to the side, Raito wondered what was wrong with the other man. Ryuuzaki sat with his legs pulled to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. It was like the other man was trying to keep everyone at bay. It reminded him of how he blocked out people from him. But he used his charm and intelligence to keep them away from him.

L shook in his seat. It was like the other read right through him. He can still feel those eyes on him but he refused to turn around to see if Raito was staring. He ignored the others who keep glancing at him. He didn't want anyone else's attention but the one behind him. The teacher continued to talk and he realized he knew this information already. No wonder Raito was bored out of his mind. Raito's mind was rotting away in these classes. Hopefully he can change that all.

'_Hey, Ryuuzaki, I was wondering, how long have you been doing this?' _

'_A while.'_

'_That doesn't tell me anything.' _

'_I have been a detective since I was eleven. Is Raito-kun happy now?' _

'_Wow that is young, but I can understand.' _

'_What does Raito-kun mean?'_

'_If I had a chance to do something like you so early, I would take it.' _

He remembered that discussion well even though it would not happen in this life time. He will have to change that. He will have to get Raito to work with him. As his eyes closed, L realized he would need help soon. If everything worked out at the police station, he would have some help through his cases. It was not like him to share his cases but sadly he was paying the price for Raito.

The class ended and he stood up. As he cleaned off his desk, putting everything into his book bag, he found the new student staring at him. Raito raised an eyebrow wondering why someone like Ryuuzaki would be looking at him. After putting his things away, he walked over and began to talk, "Hello. I'm Yagami Raito."

"Ryuuzaki Rue." L answered while holding his hand out. When the other man took his hand, he felt a shock like never before. Pulling his hand back, he wipes it on his jeans. He gained a dirty look from the younger man. Some things do not change no matter how much he tried. Tilting his head, he asked, "Would Yagami-kun mind showing me around the school?"

"School is over for the day but I can do it tomorrow."

"Would Yagami-kun care to have coffee with me?"

Raising an eyebrow, Raito wanted to know why the other man was being so straightforward. Something was up but he could not figure it out. Of course, that made him even more interested in knowing the strange man. Everyone has something they want. He just hasn't figured out what Ryuuzaki wanted from him. Something about those eyes told him that the other man is a genius like him or it was more a feeling within. Nodding his head, he asked, "Where to?"

"There is a nice café close by. We can talk there."

It sounded like the other man wanted to test him, but why? Why was he following the strange man out the door? As he looked around, Raito saw the other students staring at them. He didn't care what they thought. All he wanted to know was why this strange man was in his dreams. Was it some kind of sign? He didn't believe in such things, but nothing explained the dreams or the little flashback. Why did he feel it was a flashback? It felt like the other was dying in his arms, but the man was walking down the halls without a care in the world. Once they stepped outside, he felt the warm air hitting his skin. Something was calling him to the back of the school, but he continued to follow the new student. He could not stop wanting to be near the other man? Is he losing his mind?

Walking away from the school, L only hoped to have the effect on Raito as he thought. He wanted his friend back. As he glanced back, he found Raito staring off in space. Could it be happening already? He hoped not because he didn't want the rival back. Stopping in front of a small café, he spoke, "We are here."

Snapping out of his thoughts, Raito looked up to find they are in front of one of his favorite shops. As he glanced over at the new student, he found those dark eyes staring at him once more. They read nothing but at the same time something. He needed to know what the other man was thinking. He can't stand not knowing.

_The room was dark only lit by the computer lights. It hurt his eyes but of course the other man would never let him turn on the lights. It was a test and he refused to back down. As he looked over, he asked, "How can you work like this?" Those dark mysteriously eyes looked at him, more like stared at him, like they could read his every thought. Sadly, he could not read the older man. He hated feeling like an open book. _

"Yagami-kun." L spoke loudly. When honey eyes looked at him lost, he tilted his head and asked, "What is wrong? I have been calling you for the last three minutes and twenty seconds."

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Raito lied sweetly like nothing in the world is bothering him, "Sorry. I have been a little out of it due to the exams coming up."

"Yes the exams."

"You will need to catch up a lot to take them."

"I already am caught up with the courses. I will have no problem with the exams. I am sure Yagami-kun is the same way."

"You can say that." Raito chuckled. Why did he felt like Ryuuzaki knew him better than anyone? A small grin appeared on the pale face and he felt like punching the said man for some reason. He hated feeling like an open book. He must be losing his mind. Before he could ask anything, he stared stun as Ryuuzaki bumped into the wall. Grabbing a hold of the other man, he asked, "Are you all right?" His hand touches the pale skin to feel it burning up like an oven. How could anyone stand being with a fever and not show the effects?

Pushing the hand away from his body, L responded, "I am perfectly fine, Yagami-kun. Please do not touch me." His eyes are losing focus. He hated the fact he will lose everything but it was worth saving his friend. He would give up his life to save Raito; might as well gave up his life, after all, he was giving up his life hood.

"You are not fine. You are burning up." Raito sneered.

"It is nothing to worry about. It will go away."

"You need to take care of yourself."

"I am glad Yagami-kun has concern for me, but I am perfectly fine."

Ready to say something, Raito closed his mouth. Why did he care? He just met this man and he was already picking a fight with him. It almost felt like they did this before, but that was impossible. He never met this man outside his dreams. Could it be possible he dreamt of them fighting? As his hands curled into fists, he hissed, "Listen, you are not fine. You are sick and need to take it easy. For goodness sake, what would happen if you pass out without anyone around?"

Looking into fierce honey eyes, L sighed loudly. Taking out his phone, he hit speed dial to get his caretaker. When the line was picked up, he demanded, "I need picked up at the small café. It seems I have a fever."

"Of course."

After listening to Watari's concerned voice, he hung up and stared at the young man who he suffers for. With a tilt of his head, L remarked, "My guardian will pick me up soon. Care to talk before he gets here."

"I more like punching you."

"Why?"

"You are annoying."

Chuckling loudly, L replied, "I get that a lot." He watched those deep honey eyes glare at him. Yes, it was like before and he enjoyed it. As a car pulled up, he stepped away from the younger man. Watari stepped out of the car and opened the door for him. Bowing his head, he remarked, "It was good to have a discussion with you."

Watching the other man step inside the car, Raito watched the car leave him alone on the sidewalk. It would seem Ryuuzaki was rich to have a butler drive him home. Tilting his head, he wondered if his guardian was rich. He sighed and walked inside the café. He would have to figure out how to handle the new person in his life. Yes, he would be seeing the other man again. He would make sure of it.

Inside the car, Watari drove down the street and sighed, "The police were not happy that you did not show up."

Staring straight ahead, L mumbled, "Oh well. They will hear from me soon."

"I thought you will get to know Yagami-kun better before talking with the police."

"I am afraid our plans will have to come sooner."

"Why?"

"Because I cannot see any longer."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst.

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for the reviews/comments. Glad you are enjoying the story. Hope you like this chapter too. Please tell me what you think.

Chapter Three:

The room was dark, only the moon shinning in from the outside world. There was someone else in the room, right next to him. He wondered why there was someone in the bed with him. He rolled over and was faced with a sight. In his bed laid another man. It shocked him and he wanted to pull away but there was something preventing from doing so. It was like they were bond together. His heart started to beat loudly while his mind clouded. He wanted the other man badly, wanted to dominate him. Never before did he felt these strong emotions running wild within him.

"Raito-kun is awake."

"Yeah."

"What is Raito-kun thinking?"

"Nothing."

"Raito-kun always thinks."

Raito stared at the man beside him. He wanted so much but at the same time wanted this to stop. He wished the other was gone but also wished he would stay for good. His emotions were haywire. Before he could stop himself, he leaned over the other man. All he could see were dark eyes staring at him with no emotion within them. He hated not seeing any feeling within those eyes. It was like the other was a robot, a machine, not a human. Of course, he knew better. As his head leaned forward, he kept asking what he is doing. This was not the time to act out his rash feelings. The warmth of the body below him sent a heat like never before run through him.

"What does Raito-kun plan to do? Does he plan to kill me?"

That question stuck a cord within him. Did he really want to kill this man or was it something else? Suddenly, he saw his one hand wrapped around the pale neck, tightening around the slim neck, chocking the breath out of the other man. But his other hand was sliding down the other nude body. Wait, nude? He wasn't sure why but they both were without clothes.

"They… They… They will… will know who you… you really are." The man chocked out.

"Who would that be?"

"Kira."

That one word, name hit him hard and he pulled back. Staring at the other in shock, Raito wondered why that name hit him hard and why it sounded so familiar. Without thinking, he leaned back down and kissed those cold lips. He wanted to have power over this man, to escape the power the other held over him. How could the other man have power over him? The kiss was heated, both fighting for dominance, wanting to have that power, to win. His body slide across the other, both rolling over the bed, and trying to be on top. This was nothing like he felt before. It was new but nice. It was comfortable having this small battle. It eased his mind from chocking the other man before. All he could see were those dark eyes and a mass of black hair. Hands touched each other where people should never touch. As he threw the older man onto the bed, he leaned over, pinning the other man on the bed. Staring at those mysteriously eyes, he whispered, "I win."

"Raito-kun thinks so. I must have lost the battle but in the end I will win the war."

It confused him. Those words made no sense. It was like it meant something else, something much darker. It had no meaning to there little battle of who was dominating in bed. It meant something else and he could not figure it out. Still there were no emotions showing. For the first time, Raito asked, "Why do you haunt me? Why do you take over my dreams?"

"Am I really a dream?"

"Of course."

"Raito-kun has met me, seen me in real life. We are the same but opposite."

Tired of the riddles, tired of dreaming of a man who he has met in real life, Raito leaned forward, kissing the life out of the other man. He wanted more than a fight. He wanted to see emotions run across those dark eyes, emotions for him. Why did he felt like this? Before he knew it, he heard a small moan escape the other. It was music to his ears. Their bodies seemed to fit together like a puzzle waiting to be put together. He lay there, touching the other man, mapping out every sensation spot. Wanting to make sure he remembered every part of the older man.

The older man moaned loudly, "Raito-kun!"

Suddenly, Raito woke up from the heated dream. As he bolted in his bed, he scanned the entire area, expecting to see the other man with him. Somewhere inside him felt lost without the older man. Why did he know Ryuuzaki was older? When he looked down, he found a problem between his legs. Never before did he have sexual tension. It pissed him off. As he swung the blankets off of him, he headed to the bathroom. A cold shower was needed and he refused to go back to sleep even though it was about an hour before he got up, might as well stay up now. There was no point in going back to bed to dream of the man again. The dreams were driving him mad.

Across the city, L stood in front of the window, unable to see the world. Tears wanted to fly down his pale skin but he held them back. There was no point in crying over what he sacrificed for the younger man. He did it knowing the outcome. Touching the cold window, he asked, knowing his guardian was behind him, "Do you think I did the right thing?"

"Only time will tell."

"I must work fast to get to him."

"Will you be like this for good?" Watari finally asked. Before he let his ward tell him everything that was going on, he never asked would he remain this way for good. It saddened him if his ward would be like this for good. After all, L's entire life was solving cases and this will stop his dream completely.

"I do not know." L answered as he turned around, looking at Watari, hopefully. He walked away from the window, letting his other senses glide him around. As he flopped onto a seat, he explained, "All I was told, the moment I lost my sight would be the time to try to change Raito. Kira can come back full force and if he does it will be the end. I can still see shadows, not well, but I still have a little of my sight."

"But you will lose it completely. What about your cases?"

"I was hoping to have Raito assist me in the cases."

"So that is the real reason L is appearing to the police."

"Yes."

"They might not like you coming."

"I know they will not trust me completely or will they like my methods." L responded with a tiny smile. "After all I have spent time with some of them the first time I was alive."

"He can kill you again."

"I know."

"Then why do all of this?"

"There will be a safety measure. I will attack head on if Kira arises again. No holding back my power this time around."

"It is not like you to send a person to their execution without full proof."

"That was my mistake first time around and I will not let it happen again. As I said, if Kira comes back, it is the end completely. Even my heirs will not bring him down."

"I hope it was worth it."

"It was well worth it. This time I will change Raito-kun for the better."

At school, Raito stared at the empty chair, wondering why Ryuuzaki did not come to school today. He sighed bored out of his mind. Why did he pretend to enjoy school? Why did he lower his standards for others? As he looked out the window, thinking there was something there that he needed to get, he began to think about the dream where he was chocking Ryuuzaki and try to have sex with him. What did it mean? Was he attracted to men? He never thought so. When he looked around the room, he stared at some of the guys and nothing came. Then again, no women are attracted either.

Some girl leaned over and asked, "What do you think of Ryuuzaki-kun, Raito-kun?"

Turning to look at the girl who finally decided to chat with him, Raito shrugged his shoulders. He could tell she liked him but he was not interest. It seemed he wasn't interested to anyone but Ryuuzaki. He wasn't sure why Ryuuzaki interested him. Maybe it was those dark eyes that showed no emotion, just a blank stare. Maybe it was how the other man didn't care what others thought of him. A teacher asked him a question and he answered politely like always. Yes, everything was the same and he wanted something interesting in his life. It seemed Ryuuzaki was that something. Before the bell rang, the teacher assigned a protect to them and he asked to be partner up with Ryuuzaki. The entire class looked at him strangely but the teacher accepted the request. As he walked outside, the warm air hit against his face and he looked up at the skies excepting something coming from it. His phone startled him out of his strange thoughts. Answering it, Raito held the phone close to his ear, "Hello."

"Raito, I need you to come down the police station."

"What's up, dad?"

"It would seem L would like to talk to you."

"Why?"

"He did not say. He just wanted to meet you."

"That is strange. I mean why a great detective would want to meet with a high school student."

"I asked him but he refused to answer. I thought it would be good for you anyways. After all, you want to work with the police in the future."

"I'll be there soon, dad." Raito answered and hang up. It made no sense to him but his heart was beating fast. He had no idea why but it was driving him mad. He never lost his control before, but hearing L's name drove his emotions haywire. It was almost the same with Ryuuzaki.

At the police station, Yagami walked back into the room and stared at the lap top sitting on top of the table. He wondered why a man like L would request his son. Hopefully it would be to strengthen ties with the police instead of something horrible. As he sat down, he demanded, "I would like to know why you wish to see my son."

"You son's intelligence is high."

"I am aware of that."

"A mind like that could become bored quickly."

"What do you mean?" Yagami snapped.

"I mean Yagami-kun is a genius who gets easily bored. What I have read on him, he reminded me of myself. I would like to see his skills and see if he would assist me in future cases."

"THAT'S AMAZING!" Matsuda shouted.

Aizawa glared at him while Mogi stood still in the corner. Yagami looked between his co-worker and the lap top. It was a good chance for his son, but L was not a trusting person. He sighed, "I see. If Raito would like this chance, I will not stand in his way."

"Why did you only call us here?" Aizawa asked. He wanted to know the reason behind L decisions to only have them in the room instead of the others police force.

"I believe the others will not trust me very well." L answered.

"I do not trust you."

"Aizawa-san would trust me if only he met me in person."

"Yes."

"Sorry but I cannot let that happen."

"Why not? You expect us to trust you but you do not trust us."

"Aizawa-san must understand I am a very secretive person."

"L is right. We can't expect him to trust us right away." Yagami spoke.

Raito walked into the room, seeing that everyone got silent. He raised an eyebrow at the man covered in a dark coat and a hat to hide his identity. On the table was a laptop with gothic letter L. He sat by his father, staring straight at the laptop. Tilting his head, he asked, "What does the great L want with me?"

"Take a look at the file in front of you. Yagami-kun, tell me what you think."

Not liking to be ordered around, Raito sighed annoyed. As he glanced at the file in front of him, he picked it up and looked through it. Reading the information quicker than anyone else, processing the information faster than anyone else, and sorting out the facts and lies. As he sent down the file, he looked cocky at the laptop and responded, "A woman was the killer, most likely the cooker's girlfriend. She was jealous and killed."

Matsuda spoke, "Amazing. Raito-kun got the same conclusions as L."

"You were testing me." Raito responded, staring at the laptop, ignoring everyone else in the room.

"Yes."

"Well that we know that. Now is my turn to ask a question. Why were you testing me?" Raito replied politely while raging inside. Why did he feel rage for this strange man testing him? He made no sense to him. It wasn't like he met this man. Then again, no one ever has met this man. Well maybe the guy in the corner.

"I will answer that now since Yagami-kun was kindly enough to profile a case for me." L responded. "I was testing you to see if your intelligence was on level with my own."

"Why?"

"To offer Yagami-kun a job with me."

Standing up quickly, Raito stared at the laptop like the other man on it was insane. A job with the greatest detective in the world was like a dream come true. All his life he wanted to be a detective or work with something in law system. And to have the job offered to him before he was even out of high school. He turned to look at his father who looked more proud than ever before. He could have a job now and work cases like never before. Yes, he had helped solve some cases that he father had, but never like this. As he sat back down, calmed, he closed his eyes and replied correctly, "I would have to discuss this with my family. After all, this is a big step for me."

"I figured as much. I will give Yagami-kun two days to decide." L replied and shut off.

The entire room was silent. Everyone looked at him. As he sat there, he looked over at the strange man and asked, "How do I give my decision, sir?"

"I will come around for the next two days to hear what you decide, Yagami-kun. Please call me Watari." Watari answered with a bow of his head. Picking up the laptop, he left the room to give them time to process the information.

"Well, I never thought L was the type to give his case load up." Aizawa spoke.

"Yes, it is strange." Yagami agreed. "What do you think, Raito?"

"Is it all right with you?" Raito responded with his own question. Why was he asking? Shouldn't he think about this by himself? It was his life not his father's. But he was always like this, always asked what others thought first.

"We will discuss this at dinner." Yagami answered calmly. He was happy to hear that his son was gaining the attention of someone who was a law fighting person.

Raito nodded his head as he left the room. It meant he would not be allowed to assist L. Of course, he has no plans of listening. This was one time offer and he refused to not take the job.

In a car outside the police station, L sat in the back. When Watari climbed in and started to drive, he asked, "What do you think Raito-kun will say?"

"I believe he will take the job. The problem might be from his father. You said that the first time around he was not very pleased to have his son helping in the investigating."

"That is true but I believe Raito-kun will finally disobey his father. This is a job that is not something you refuse to take."

"Where to?"

"To the café."

Walking down the street, Raito thought about what he should do. Maybe he should go to his favorite café shop for a while to think. He would take the job offer but he has to do it behind his father's back. Could it be possible? With a grin, he thought, "It would work. I'm a genius after all." He walked around the corner to see Ryuuzaki stepping out of his car. As he headed toward the man who he had a the oddest dream ever, he asked coldly, "Why were you not in school today?"

Without turning his head to the voice that interrupted his thought pattern, L responded, "Did Yagami-kun miss me that much?"

"In your dreams."

"I am sure Yagami-kun dream of me."

Everything froze in place. Was it possible that the other man knew about his dreams? What was he thinking? It was impossible. He told no one about his dreams. Raito growled, "You wish. And you have not answered my question."

"I was under the weather."

"But you are out now."

"I had business to tend to."

"You are such a liar."

Still not looking at the young man, L stared straight ahead, wishing his eyes would work. He heard the car leaving him alone in the city. As he sighed loudly, he answered, "I had a business to tend to."

"Whatever." Raito sneered. As he walked toward the door, he noticed Ryuuzaki almost running into people. Pulling him by the arm, he hissed, "Watch where you are going."

"I would if I could." L whispered under his breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"You are strange."

As he followed Raito inside to the back he presumes, L sat down. A waiter came over took their order. Both of them ordered coffee. As he slid his hand across the table, looking for the sugar packets, he felt the eyes of Raito staring at him.

Noting the way the other man moved his hands like looking for things with his touch instead of his eyes, Raito's eyes widened figuring out what is wrong with Ryuuzaki. As their coffee was sat in front of them, he whispered, "You can't see."

"I can see shadows." L responded, unable to deny what is happening. When he heard something scrape across the table and pushed toward his hand, he remarked, "Do not pity me, Raito-kun."

Raito stared stun at the other man. Since they met Ryuuzaki has always called him by his sir name not his first name. Some reason it brought the dream back to the surface. Unable to stop himself, he leaned over the table, kissing those lips. They were warm instead of cold like he thought and soft.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst, make out scene.

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for the lovely comments/reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter too. Please tell me what you think.

Chapter Four:

The entire place froze or it seemed that way to L. No one would be able to explain why he felt so good to have Raito's lips on his. When the kiss ended, he hoped he was looking at Raito. He wanted to ask so many questions. He also wanted to deny that it felt amazing.

"You are warm." Raito whispered as he scanned the area. No one saw him break apart for a second and let his emotions over rule his mind. When he noticed a reddish tint on Ryuuzaki's cheeks, he leaned on his hand and mumbled, "It would seem you like it."

"Yagami-kun is arrogant."

"It is the truth. You liked it."

"I am afraid Yagami-kun is wrong. I am shocked." L responded. "I never thought Yagami-kun was gay."

"I'm not."

"You just kissed me."

"Forget it. I do not like you." Raito replied. "By the way, we have a project to do."

L slipped his coffee smiling inside. He knew that Raito wanted to change the subject. Sitting here, discussing issues, L finally asked, "What do you think about criminals?"

"The law doesn't do justice."

"You think so?"

"Criminals do not serve their time."

"Do you think that they deserve to die?"

"Most of them kill others, make the world rotten." Raito confessed. "I think they deserve to be punished the same way."

"What if a man robbed a bank, but did it to save his family, to feed his family? What about a person who killed an intruder, after all they killed?"

"That is different."

"Not true. They broke the law. They should pay by your standards." L replied quickly. He heard the deep sigh coming from the younger man. Tilting his head, he asked, "What is the project?"

"It is easy. We could have it finished within an hour, maybe less with our minds put together."

"When should we start?"

"Today. I want to finish it quickly."

"Why?"

"I have things to think over."

"Like what?"

"I got a job offer and I need to figure out a way to take it without my parents knowing." Raito confessed and sighed annoyed. Why was he so open with this man? Never before did he open himself up like this. It was annoying the hell out of him.

Biting his thumb, L remarked, "Raito-kun is trying to deceive his family." He was happy to hear his friend would take the job offer even if that meant doing it behind his family's back.

Leaning his head on his hand, Raito explained, "My father would not want me to take the job so early in my life but I need something more than what I am doing now." He still wanted to know why he was so open about everything with the other man.

'_Hey, Ryuuzaki, I was wondering, how long have you been doing this?' _

'_A while.'_

'_That doesn't tell me anything.' _

'_I have been a detective since I was eleven. Is Raito-kun happy now?' _

'_Wow that is young, but I can understand.' _

'_What does Raito-kun mean?'_

'_If I had a chance to do something like you so early, I would take it.' _

What was that? Why does he remembering talking to the other man when they just met? As he stared at Ryuuzaki, he wished he understood what he was seeing and hearing. Did it mean the other man was a detective? As he looked around the room, he asked, "Are you a detective?"

"Why would Raito-kun think that?" L asked, hiding his fear. Could the other already be remembering their first life? If it is true, then he has to act even quicker.

He swore he heard a tint of fear within Ryuuzaki's voice but he didn't call him out on it. What could it matter if he knew Ryuuzaki being a detective or not? As he sighed, Raito spoke, "It was nothing. I was hoping that someone else shares my ideals." It was impossible the other was a detective, but what about that flashback or whatever it was? Was Ryuuzaki hiding something from him? If he was, then he would find out sooner or later.

"I share the interest of doing detective work like Raito-kun but I do not share his ideals about criminals."

He huffed loudly. Why did the other man make him want to punch him? He never felt like this before; happy and angry at the same time. It was nice talking to someone else like him but it annoyed him to no end that Ryuuzaki could bring out these emotions. Ratio watched as the other man poured loads of sugar into his coffee. Yes, Ryuuzaki was sickening to him but he felt such strong emotions for the other. He wanted to kiss those lips again, to feel the way they were so warm instead of what he expected them being cold like his facial expressions.

He felt those cold eyes staring at him and he wanted the warmth from Raito once again. Would he be able to change the other in time? Would he ever have his friend back? Of course, he knew kissing was not a friend thing but something more. He wondered if what they had was more than friends. It felt right when Raito kissed him. Did he felt more for his friend? Did his friend felt more for him? Tilting his head, he asked, "Why is Raito-kun staring at me?"

"How do you know I'm staring when you can't fully see me?"

"I sense it."

"Well I'm not staring at you. I have better things than to stare at you." Raito remarked coldly. "Also you can stop pouring all that sugar into your drink. That is sickening."

Putting a little more sugar into the coffee, Ryuuzaki carefully picks up the cup and takes a slip. Tilting his head a little and biting his lower lip, he pours some more sugar into the coffee. Part of it was to tease his friend but the other part was he needed more sugar in it. Without missing a beat of his friend's behavior, he asked, "Where should we do our project?"

"At my house. It is close by."

"I will have my guardian drive us." L replied while dialing the number to Watari. Yes, his plan was going good. Would it be enough to save his friend? Would his sacrifice be enough to stop Kira from ever coming back? After telling Watari where he planned to go, he hung up sensing once again his friend staring at him. Ready to call him out on it, he felt a warm hand lying on top of his. Tensing slightly, he asked, "What are you doing?"

While rubbing his thumb over Ryuuzaki's pale hand slowly and softly, Raito wondered himself why he was doing this. It felt right to him but at the same time sickeningly. He was ready to answer but closed his mouth. There was no point in revealing that he had no idea what he was doing. No, he could not tell anyone that for the first time he didn't know what he was doing.

'_Raito-kun has been staring at me for five minutes and forty-three seconds. Why?' _

'_Sorry, I was out of it for a moment.' Raito responded, feeling his cheeks heat up. He turned his head quickly and stared at the computer screen. Why could the other stare at him without question but he could not do the same? He wanted to figure the other out. He had no idea why, but it felt right. He never had a problem figuring someone out. _

'_Raito-kun.' The other whispered by his ear. _

'_DAMNIT! DON'T DO THAT!' Raito yelled, but he felt butterflies flying inside of him for being so close to the older man. _

Snapping out of his daze, Raito stared at the man in front of him. He never believed in supernatural stuff or fate. But somehow this felt right; them talking, them fighting, them feeling each other, and them trying to figure the other out. When he heard a cough, he pulled his hand away like it was burnt. He turned to look at the new comer. As he saw an elderly man, he wondered if this was Ryuuzaki's guardian.

Smiling kindly at the one man who brought the downfall to him and his ward in his first life, Watari introduced himself by his real name, "I am Quillish Wammy." He noticed his ward tense by him using his real name. Yes, he understood why it was dangerous but there was no way he was introducing himself as Watari. It would ruin their plan to save this young man.

Raito responded with a fake smile, "Yagami Raito. It is a pleasure to meet you." He can never show his true feelings to the world. It would bring him hurt and pain. He learned that years ago when other kids would bully him because he was different. Well, this time around he refused to show what he was. Still, the other man brought so many emotions out of him. As he walked out following Ryuuzaki and Wammy, he slid into the car, waiting to go home.

Sitting like he always did, L looked straight ahead, unable to really see anything. Could the other be remembering the past? Would he be able to save his friend? He sighed sadly and wondered about the kiss. It was wonderful. It made him feel alive. Never before did anything make him feel alive, expect his cases. The Kira Case was the one case that stopped his boredom and excited him. The only thing that drove him nuts was he knew Raito was Kira but could never prove it. When it came to Raito's end, he realized he missed his friend, the person who was truly Raito.

'_I want him to show his emotions.' Raito thought as he stared at the computer scene. He wanted the older man to show what he was thinking. As he turned to glance at the older man, he wondered, 'What would he do if I kissed him?' His mind shut down after thinking that. What was wrong with him? Did he like the older man? Maybe if they weren't trying to take each other down, then they would have made a perfect pair. He sighed sadly and turned back to his work station. _

'_What is wrong with Raito-kun?'_

'_What do you mean, Ryuuzaki?'_

'_Raito-kun sighed a few moments ago.' _

_Before Raito could answer, everything changed. The entire room was dark with redness blinking from the computers. The computers all read information deleted. People were screaming while he held the older man in his arms. He thought, 'I won.' But those dark eyes read one thing, 'I might have lost, but you will lose the war.' He didn't understand why the older man would have that look. He wanted to lean down and kiss those pale lips. He didn't understand why he felt so strongly for the other man. Then, he heard a loud scream, louder than he heard in his life. He realized it was him screaming out his pain. Why would he scream for his enemy? But he did and he knew he regretted ending the older man. They could have been great friends only if they weren't on different sides. _

"Raito-kun!?" L shook his friend.

Shaking out of his daze or whatever it was, Raito replied, "I am fine." He stepped out of the car and helped the other man out. As he walked to his door, he knew that he wasn't fine. Something about that flashback or whatever it was shook him to the core. In that dream, he killed the other. He knew he did but he didn't understand why he did.

'_KIRA!' _

That one name rung loudly within him and he hated the name. It meant pain and suffering but he didn't understand how. He looked over when Ryuuzaki grabbed his arm. He felt free with the other man and he wanted that the most. Turning to face the other fully, he leaned down, kissing those soft warm lips. They weren't cold. They weren't dead. When he pulled back, Raito wanted the dreams to end. He didn't want that pain again.

L replied monotone, "If Raito-kun continues to kiss me, I might think he has a crush on me."

Without replying to the other man, Raito dragged Ryuuzaki into his house. As he stepped inside, he knew they were alone but he still called out, "I'm home." Home was boring like the rest of his life. Two things made his life interesting; Ryuuzaki and the job offer from L. Helping Ryuuzaki up the stairs, he commented, "We should be done with the project within ten minutes."

"If I knew we would be done that fast, I would have told my guardian to wait."

"You could stay for dinner." Raito remarked. Somewhere inside of him, he wanted to dominate the other man. When they got inside his room, he could not stop his emotions; anything but those dreams haunting him. Ryuuzaki fell onto his bed as he kissed those warm taunting lips.

'_Kira will lose.' _

'_Yes he will and then you will see I am not him.' _

'_I still believe Raito-kun was Kira.' _

'_You are an asshole! How many times do I have to tell you that I am not Kira?' _

'_No matter how many times Raito-kun tells me that I will not believe him.' _

As he pulled back, he stared down at blank eyes. He wanted those eyes to read emotions. He wanted the other man to be as open as him. Sliding his hand up Ryuuzaki's shirt, touching the warm pale skin, he whispered between kisses, "I… want… to… see… your… emotions."

Taking breathe after breathe, L replied, "This is wrong." Of course, he doesn't get a response, just kisses that intoxicate him. As his shirt was torn off of him, he started to try to get Raito's shirt off too. Sadly, without his sight, he was having trouble. When he felt skin against his, he realized Raito must have taken it off. The warmth coming from Raito was intoxicating him, making his world dizzy. Yes, he knew this was wrong on so many different levels but he needed the other.

Stripping them both of clothes, Raito moved his mouth over the pale skin, hearing the small pants coming from the other man.

'_KIRA!'_

'_I AM NOT KIRA!'_

'_Yes, Raito-kun is.' _

'_No I am not.'_

'_Raito-kun is my first friend.' _

'_You are my friend too.' Raito replied, hiding his smirk from view. Reddish eyes stared at his enemy. If the other wanted to play friends, then he would too. Something inside of him crawled up him, wanting him to be true friends with the older man. _

'_Kira.' _

'_Kira will lose the war.' _

'_I lost the battle, but the war was won.' _

'_I AM GOD!' _

'_Raito-kun was a foolish human.' _

As he hears Ryuuzaki moan loudly, Raito moved up the body, leaning over the pale naked body. His entire body felt on fire as he stared at the perfect body below him. Sweat poured down Ryuuzaki's body while his chest rose up and down from trying to breathe right. Leaning down, he kissed those lips once again. He could not stop from kissing those lips. They told him the other man was alive. Rubbing against the body, making his world hazed, he kept their bodies close.

Grabbing a hold of Raito's back, L moaned softly, "Raito." What was this? What was going on? What were they doing? His mind was going haywire while his body craved the other. His heart was beating fast while they danced with each other. Closing his eyes tightly, he groaned, "Raito. Raito. I am… I am…" He wasn't sure what he was going to say but his body demanded release. He wasn't sure what was coming. Was this what he missed all his life? He finally figured out his body demanded relief. Unable to hold back, he grabbed a hold of Raito's back and groaned loudly, "RAITO!"

When his name was groaned out that loudly, Raito could not hold back his body demands either and came. As he flopped beside the other man, he wondered what happened between them. Looking over at his partner, he noticed the other trying to gain his breath. As his hand rubbed circles on Ryuuzaki's arm, he whispered, "L."

Everything froze by that one name and L rolled over, hoping to be facing Raito. As he grabbed a hold of the hand drawing patterns on him, he asked, "What did Raito-kun call me?"

With a smile on his face, Raito replied sleepily, "L."

Sitting up in bed, Ryuuzaki stared down at his friend afraid for the first time. When the other doesn't move at all, he whispered, "You are remembering."

Shaking out of his daze, Raito sat up in bed and asked, "Remembering what?" He stared long and hard at the man beside him. Something was up and he hated not knowing.

"This was a mistake. I should not have let it happen." L responded while trying to find his clothes. When he was handed his jeans, he began to quickly put his clothes on. He needed out of the house. He needed to be far away from his friend quickly. He never trusted Kira and it seemed Kira was coming around.

Grabbing a hold of Ryuuzaki's arm, Raito growled, "You were willing when we made out. You can't just say it was a mistake."

"Yes I can. It was a mistake and it will not happen again."

"Damn you." Raito growled as he pulled the other man toward him. He plated his lips on the other, feeling the other struggle against him. When the body goes limp, he darts his tongue inside, tasting the sweet taste inside Ryuuzaki's mouth.

Pushing the younger man away from him, L felt dizzy. It was not from the kiss. It was from one of his attacks. Grabbing a hold of Raito, the closest thing to him, he groaned, "No. No. Not now."

Feeling the heat coming from Ryuuzaki, Raito stared wide-eyed. In quick movements, he moved Ryuuzaki to the bed and asked, "What is wrong? You are burning up again."

"I… I…" L tried to say his words but he fell forward, leaning on his friend slash enemy.

Feeling the body go limp, Raito shook Ryuuzaki and panicked, "Ryuuzaki. Ryuuzaki. Ryuuzaki." It was like his dreams where he was holding Ryuuzaki's dead body. Laying the other down, he leaned over Ryuuzaki's mouth and sighed to feel breathing from the other. Grabbing his clothes, he putted them on and whispered, "I will figure out what you are hiding from me, Ryuuzaki. Count on it." He looked down to find Ryuuzaki's phone. Picking it up, he hit redial and hoped he got Ryuuzaki's guardian.

On the third ring, Watari answered, "Yes, Ryuuzaki."

"I'm not Ryuuzaki. Hmm, he passed out. I think he is sick."

"I will be there within ten minutes. Thank you for calling."

"Wait, what is wrong with him?"

"It was a price to pay for trying to save his friend."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing."

Before he could ask more questions, the line disconnected on him. As he looked over Ryuuzaki's body, he growled, "What are you hiding, damn bastard?" Ten minutes later, like Mr. Wammy said, he was there, carrying Ryuuzaki out of his room and house. As he helped hold the door for the elderly man, he asked, "Do I know you?" Raito swore he met this man before the café.

'_Would you two stop fighting? One of these days, you are going to break each other bones if you continue.'_

'_I am stronger than I look.' The older man responded. _

'_I am not worried about you but the young Yagami might not be lucky.' _

'_HEY! I can stand my own.' _

"I am afraid we just met when I picked you up." Watari responded while heading to the driver seat. As he got into the car, he replied, "Thank you for taking care of him."

When the car left him standing there, Raito glared at the road. His dreams meant something. He had to figure it out. Going back inside, he smirked and whispered, "Ryuuzaki, you should know I do not give up on anything. I will figure it out before you know it."

In the car, Watari glanced back to see his ward awake. He asked, "What happened there?"

"We made out."

"I know that…" Watari began and then asked loudly. "WHAT?"

"We made out." L repeated. "I believe friendship was not my only reason of saving him. I believe I loved him."

"He can use that against you."

"Yes and he might already be using it against me. He is remembering faster than I thought."

"What will you do?"

"I will stop Kira at all costs even if that means ending the one I love."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews/comments for the story. I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter Five:

The room was empty except one man sitting in the chair, more like hunched in the chair. His legs were pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. Silence was all around. Not even a pin was hitting the floor and if it did, it would be the loudest thing in the room. There was tension within the room. Dark eyes looked up accusing the other man in the room.

Across the room a teenager stood with a smirk adoring his face. Yes, it was time to defeat the one man that stood in his way. He walked forward, his steps echoing in the room. As he tilted his head to the side, he laughed like never before. The laugh was eerie.

"Is Kira-kun done?"

"Why do you call me that, Ryuuzaki?" Raito whispered innocently, all the while smirking at his opponent.

"Because it is the truth. We both know that."

"Can you prove it?"

"Raito-kun knows I cannot."

"Now, I'm Raito-kun." Raito laughed. Yes, once he has this man out of his way, nothing would stand in his way. He walked once more to stand in front of his adversary. When those dark eyes looked at him, he wanted to take that look off the other man. He wanted to forget ever meeting the man in front of him. But there was another part that was crawling inside of him, making him want the other man closer to him. Grabbing the older man, he pulled him up. Glaring at the older man, he growled, "Stop looking at me like that."

"This is how I look all the time."

"You are human. You have feelings."

"So does Raito-kun."

"No I am God. Gods do not feel."

"You feel like I do. You bleed like I do." The older man spoke while leaning forward. When lips touch Raito's, he pulled back slightly and whispered, "Kira-kun will end like I did."

Pushing the other man away from him, Raito watched as the older man fell into the wall. Growling, he muttered, "I will not die like you."

"No, you will die more painfully. It will be justice to see the almighty Kira bleed for his sins."

The entire room changed. There were people in the room now. They all looked worried and scared. The computers were blinking, 'deleted information'. He stood there, waiting for the end. It would be over within seconds and he would be a step closer to his true goal. As the older man's body began to fall, he raced over and grabbed a hold of the older man. Staring down at those blank eyes, he wanted to see emotions. He wanted to see his enemy give him a defeated look.

Those eyes read, 'Oh Raito-kun, you will never win.'

He screamed at the top of his lungs, begging the older man to get back up. Part of him was screaming for the older man getting to him again, but the other part was really screaming for his friend to get up.

Everything was spinning around and now he was in a warehouse, staring at a younger version of the older man. He felt rage to have this little boy take him on. The young teenager was nothing compared to the older man. He glared at them all. They all deserve to die. Didn't they see he was doing it for the world? Even if it meant his soul would die. When he felt pain like never before rip through him, he stared at them all with hatred. He could not die like this. It would prove the older man right. He ran. Who would have thought he would have run from them? When he found a safe spot, he tried to climb up steps only to feel pain in his heart. Collapsing onto the stairs, he looked ahead to find the one man who never stopped believing he would end. As his eyes began to closed, he whispered, "Why?"

"Kira-kun was evil and evil dies."

"Ryuuza…aki." Raito whispered painfully. He wanted to say something else but his words were lost. What did it matter? He was talking to himself. The older man wasn't here with him even though he wanted the other with him. As his body became numb, he spoke brokenly, "I… I misse…ed you."

Raito woke up startled. What was that dream? Who was Kira? What did it have to do with Ryuuzaki? As he calmed his breathing, he stared at his bed covers, feeling sweat pouring down his face. When he raised his hands to wipe away the sweat, he felt something he never thought was possible. He felt tears. He was crying, but why? Did he felt pain for his death or was it because Ryuuzaki died? What did the dreams mean? As he glanced at his clock, he wished he knew the answers to his questions.

At a hotel, Ryuuzaki sat in his chair in front of the window, unable to see the life outside of it. He hated not seeing but it was worth it or at least he hoped so. Hearing his caretaker move around the room, he muttered, "Raito. Kira." One was his friend, maybe even more. The other was his fierce enemy. Still they were the same person. Now, he must stop Kira with all he has left. What will he do when it came down to ending the one he hates and saving the one he loves?

"What do you wish me to do when the young Yagami approaches me?"

"The job is still open and I want him to taste what I do."

"Will it be enough to stop the evil that lives in him?"

"I can only hope. He will contract you tomorrow after school. He will take the job."

"It might be a way to end you again."

"I know, but Kira hasn't arisen yet."

"I see. Very well."

He heard Watari leave the room. He closed his eyes. It did not matter rather they were open or closed, after all he can't see. Seeing the image of Raito when they were chained together, he felt his heart beat race quicker. Then the image of Kira appeared, ruining any sense of peace. The evil that took over the one who should have been like him drives him mad.

_Those eyes read so much hatred and he could not stand it. He looked back and told the young man that he could leave anytime. Those words said back to him hurt like nothing before. It meant their deadly game was back. He hated losing but he knew that his end was nearing. _

_As he stood out in the rain, L wished for a way to save a poor soul that happened to come along of power that should not been in his hands in the first place. When he heard said man's voice, he turned to stare at the man that would end his life soon. He stared into eyes that showed so much hate. Where was the friendship they held? He wanted to lean forward and kiss those lips. Yes, he knew those thoughts were pointless. He didn't understand why he wanted to taste the other. Would he taste death or would he taste heaven? He turned and talked nonsense. He knew the other would never understand. _

_When they came down to the main room, he listened to everyone panicking. He saw the computers blink information deleted. He knew that his life was over. He took a risk and glanced at the young man standing there. There were no emotions of guilt. When he felt the pain, he wished he could have saved the young man. Thinking he would hit the floor, he felt his body being held by Raito. Staring into those cold eyes, he wanted to whisper out he knew. He let his eyes speak for him. He heard Raito scream but his eyes were closing. He didn't want to see the end of such a brilliant mind. He knew that Kira would die in the end and he could not stop it. His last breathe, he wished, 'Save him.' _

His eyes snapped open, remembering the time he died. He could not save Raito then, but this time he swore to save the other man. As he stood up, L headed to his room. Tomorrow would start something that no one would know about. It would save his friend.

The next day, Raito went to school then to the police station. At first, he began to panic when he saw the members in the room. Some of them were in his dream and he remembered hating them. As he took a step away from Matsuda, he leaned against the wall. He looked over at the elderly man who would give his message to L. He needed to do this even though his father already decided he was too young for detective work.

L spoke through the computer, "Good afternoon. I am glad to see Yagami-kun came."

Yagami answered, "About the job offer, Raito will not be taking it. His studies are more important right now."

"What a waste of a good mind."

"What do you mean?" Yagami snapped.

"You do not see the boredom within your own son. Foolish."

Looking around the room to notice everyone's eyes on him, Raito decided to respond, "I do not know what you are talking about. I'm perfectly fine." He lied through his teeth. He wasn't fine. He hated being bored. When his father looked at him proudly, he sighed annoyed. The computer scene goes dark and for a moment he panicked that it would read 'Information deleted.' Why did his dreams continue to haunt him? The members of the police said that they were sorry about him not getting the job but maybe in the future the job would open once more. He walked out without saying a word. No one would know that he would take the job without his father's approval. When he leaned against the wall outside, he waited for Watari.

Stopping on the first step, Watari noticed the young man waiting for him like L thought he would. As he stepped closer to Raito, he whispered, "I presume you will take the job anyways."

"Yes."

Handing a laptop to the young Yagami, Watari responded, "Here is a laptop. L will contract you and the cases you will be working on will come through here. Please keep all information secret."

"No problem. I presume you do not care that my father doesn't approve this."

"You reminded me of L when he was younger. Nothing stopped him being a detective. I will not stand in your way to do the same."

Before he could ask more questions about his employer, Raito watched the elderly man walk away. Now, he would help the detective and make a name for himself. Would it be enough to stop the boredom? He hoped to see Ryuuzaki again. It would be nice to have a little banter between them again. As he put the laptop into his book bag, he walked away. It was time to start a new life even if that meant going against his family. He needed to do this.

'_Kira.' _

Why did that name continue to ring through his mind? Who was Kira? What did it have to do with him? Why did he felt that name was his? Moving away from the police station, he decided to head to the café that made everything disappear for a while. When he walked in, he saw the one man he has wanted to see all day long. As he sat down across from Ryuuzaki, he growled, "You missed school again. The teacher doesn't like that."

"I do not care what teachers think. I picked up my work earlier and already have my part done for the project." L replied while handing over his part of the project. He really didn't care about going to school. He knew everything they taught and he realized Raito was in the same boat.

"How are you doing?" Raito asked with concern. For the first time, he really did feel concern.

"I am doing better today. It goes away in time."

"You should take care of yourself more."

"I'm fine, Raito-kun."

"Your guardian told me that it was a price to pay for trying to save a friend."

"Did he now?"

"Yes. What about it?"

"It was nothing." L replied, hiding his fear. It was not time to tell Raito that he sacrificed everything for him. He needed the teenager to work on his cases. Sadly, he would not be able to do the same. He lost his sight and no longer can look at crime scenes.

"Why don't you come over today?"

"So we can have a repeat of what happened yesterday. No thank you."

"You enjoyed it."

"Enjoying it and knowing it was a mistake are two different things."

"You damn well know it wasn't a mistake. You liked it and want it again."

"Raito-kun needs to get over himself." L replied. He wasn't going to let it happen again. He couldn't afford having that kind of relationship. If Kira did come back and they had a relationship, it would be harder to stop the other. When he felt lips against his, he pulled back and growled, "No."

"Can we at least be friends? Friends hang out with each other." Raito tries another tactic. For whatever reason, he wanted to feel the other again. Maybe it was because of the dreams he has been having. He doesn't want to see the other dead. He needed to make sure the other was alive. He leaned forward, seeing the light blush adoring the pale face. As he kissed those lips gently, he didn't care that they were in public. He had to make sure the other man was still breathing.

Unable to stop his body demands, L leaned forward, letting the other man control the kiss. It was slow and sweet unlike their kisses yesterday. Did it mean that Raito liked him more than being friends? What did Raito think when he killed him? When the kiss was broken, he felt his face heat up. He wanted those lips on his again. He wanted it to last forever. His logic told him that it would not happen. There was a chance that Kira could come back.

Touching his lips, Raito realized that he liked Ryuuzaki more than a friend. Was it a fling? Was it a stage he was going through? Then again, no one ever turned him on. Ryuuzaki was the only one. He had many fans; girls and guys. None of them interested him. He wanted someone like him and he never could find it.

As he closed his eyes, L replied, "I am not a person you want to get involved with." He stood up and turned to leave but his arm was grabbed. He wanted to let his heart speak for the first time, but his logic was bugging him. He knew that Raito was remembering. Pulling his arm away, he walked away.

Somewhere he felt hurt. When did he ever let himself get hurt? As he stared at the coffee in front of him, Raito felt he missed Ryuuzaki already. It was like his dream. Was that the meaning? Did it mean that he was falling for a man that could not return his feelings? He huffed upset about letting his emotions over rule his mind. What he did with Ryuuzaki was a fling. He paid for his coffee and left. It was time to start working on cases; helping L. Maybe then he could make a name for himself and be a detective like L.

In a car parked by the entrance of the café, Watari looked back and asked, "What will you do?"

"I do not know."

"You love him."

"Yes, but I hate Kira."

"They are the same person."

"True. I am hoping that Raito-kun will win." L replied, hoping with everything he has that he was right. Raito was strong and maybe what he paid to save him would be enough for Raito to change his ways. His sight was going even faster than he thought it would. He can barely see anything. He closed his eyes and sighed sadly, "I gave up everything for him. It has to work."

'_You do realize he is not worth saving.' A female voice spoke._

'_He is worth it.' L responded. _

'_He will suffer for his sins. He will lose the one thing that he needed to kill his victims, his sight.' She explained. _

'_I will take his punishment.' L replied quickly. _

_The woman who could make time restart stared at him in sadness. As she tilted her head, she asked, 'Why do you wish to take on his punishment? It would be the end of your life.'_

_He knew what she meant by her words. He stared at the vast emptiness. After a few minutes of seeing no life whatsoever in nothingness, he spoke, 'Being a detective means nothing when it was lonely. He was the only person I could relate to.'_

'_When you lose your sight, he will begin to remember. He must decide against Kira or else it will be over for one of you. This is the last chance I give.' _

'_I understand.' _

Yes, he took on Raito's punishment without thinking twice on it. As he opened his eyes to see nothing but blackness, he whispered, "It has to work."

At Yagami household, Raito went up to his room. As he opened the laptop, he found a few cases already sent to him. Tilting his head, he mumbled, "No welcoming from L. He must mean business." He began to do the case loads quickly while staring at the clock in his room. He only has a few hours to do detective work before his father comes home. Then he has about a couple of hours of doing homework which he was ahead in anyways.

Downstairs, Sachiko sighed when she heard her son walk in. She could tell he was upset about not gaining his father's approval. As she headed up the stairs, she walked into Raito's room to see him working on what she would say was detective work. When he stared at her like a deer in headlights, she sighed, "Just make sure your studies are not going to drop. If you do that, I am sure your father will never know you are doing this behind his back."

"Thanks mom." Raito replied while watching her walk out of the room. He sighed relieved. He didn't know what to do if his mother tried to stop him.

"That was a close call."

Raito jumped startled to hear a voice coming from the laptop. When he heard a chuckle, he muttered, "You could have told me that you were on."

"Where would be the fun in that, Yagami-kun?"

"Weirdo."

"Thank you."

Raito typed away on the laptop, writing up reports of who they should be looking for in the case. As he continued, he began to feel the need to talk to the laptop. It was crazy but he wanted to know more about L. He asked, "How long have you done detective work?"

"For a while."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Since I was a child."

Raito stared at the laptop in wonder. Why did he get the feeling of having this conversation before? Wasn't it one of those weird dreams about Ryuuzaki? Leaning on his hand, he asked, "When can I meet you?"

"We have only known each other for five minutes and Yagami-kun already wants to get in my pants."

"I do not, L." Raito growled. "Besides I have someone already."

"I am sure Yagami-kun does. His looks are amazing."

"You are flirting with me."

"Am I?"

"Yes. Stop."

"Yagami-kun enjoys it."

"There is only one person I want and that is not you. After all, I never met you before." Raito replied, smirking. He figured out that L was trying to change the subject. He should know better. What he heard and found out, L was not a man who would show himself to anyone. The only person who might even know what L looks like was Watari.

"Who is it that you want?"

"Stop trying to change the subject. I need to meet you if I am going to work with you."

"Yagami-kun works for me, not with me. I will pay Yagami-kun very well for his services but never think for a moment that you work with me."

"One of these days I will out do you." Raito growled while glaring at the computer screen.

"I will be waiting for that day. It would make it very interesting."

Before he can make a comment, the scene goes blank. As he flopped back on his bed, staring at the ceiling, Raito smiled. He enjoyed the little banter he had with L. It was amusing. He can't believe he told L that he had someone. He didn't have anyone and he didn't need anyone.

"_Leave L. I do not need you or anyone for that matter." _

"_That is not what Raito said when faced with death. Raito wanted someone to come to save him." _

He sat up quickly. What was that? As he felt his heart race wildly, he wondered how he would know someone like L. Was he going crazy? Lying down, he asked out loud, "What is going on?"

At a hotel, L leaned back in his chair. Nothing matters any more. He lost and now he must find a way to get a new person to take over his title. He should be getting the Wammy boys into his work but this was the only way he thought would save his friend. His eyes closed.

'_Why do you wish to save him?' A woman voice rang out._

_The world was lonely even though it was beautiful and peaceful. He did not deserve to be here. He was no different than Kira. Maybe he wasn't totally insane but he did questionable things when he was a detective. He had blood on his hands as much as Kira. As he turned to the woman who spoke to him, he whispered, 'I want my friend back.'_

'_He was never your friend. It was a game between you two.' _

'_Even though it was a game and maybe my words were false at the time, but we became friends. I want that back.' _

'_Very well. You may see him.' _

_He went to the place that held no life whatsoever. It was dead just like him and his friend. As he stared at the young man that made him feel, he chuckled when he heard Raito's words of being god. _

"_Why do you torture me?" _

"_I did not come to torture Raito-kun." _

"_Then, why did you come?" _

"_To see my first friend." _

"_I was never your friend." _

"_Maybe not to Raito-kun, but to me Raito was my friend." _

"_You are a liar."_

"_Even though Raito-kun does not wish to admit it, I still believe we were friends at some point." _

He opened his eyes to see darkness. He would never see again and he would not be a detective any longer. As his computers beeped, he sighed, "It would seem he solved the cases I set him already."

"Yes he did. What I see, he is doing it well." Watari spoke while bringing cake into the room.

Smelling the sweet scent of cake, L stood up and shook his head. He would eat his cake but tonight he doesn't want to. As he walked to the door, he whispered, "I am going for a walk."

"L…" Watari began to say but his words were lost. He watched his ward leave. Sighing loudly, he shook his head and mumbled, "How will you walk around when you cannot see?" He picked up his phone and hoped to lie well.

At the Yagami household, Raito ate his food with a pleased look. When he heard the phone ring, he watched amused his sister running to it. As his sister screamed it was for him, he walked over and answered, "Hello."

"Hello, Yagami-kun, this is Quillish Wammy. Ryuuzaki went out and I am worried about him. He would not listen to me."

"I'll go look for him." Raito said and hang up. He wondered how the old man found his number. With a shrug, he yelled, "My friend is roaming the streets, going to look for him." His mother and sister don't say a word and he left his home.

At a small park, L sat on the swings. It was stupid of him to walk around without his sight. He listened to the city's life. It was loud for the time of night. After ten minutes of sitting there, he heard someone approach. When he felt someone sat next to him, he asked, "Yes?"

"It was stupid of you walking around when you can't see."

"Yes it is but I needed fresh air."

"What is wrong with you?" Raito asked concern. He wanted to know what is going on with someone he does consider his friend. When lips touch his face, he pulled back and sighed, "I thought it was nothing."

"It was nothing. It was a mistake but it would seem I am making mistakes."

'_It would seem I am making mistakes.'_

'_Stop acting like that, Ryuuzaki.' _

'_It is the truth, Raito-kun. Kira is pointless of chasing when I cannot see the puzzle.' _

'_You sound like you will not be happy unless I am Kira.' _

'_But you were. I was not mistaken about that.'_

'_YES YOU WERE!' _

Raito snapped out of his daze and leaned forward. As he sealed those warms lips, he pulled back and mumbled, "You were mistaken."

"Maybe I was." L replied, knowing full well that they are not talking about the same thing. He felt the other talking about their past life. He hated the fact the younger man was remembering every detail of their past. Could it be too much to ask that they had a fresh start? When lips met his again, he leaned to the caress. He would lose this battle. He can't stop his heart or his body from wanting the youthful man.

Seeing the small blush crossing Ryuuzaki's pale face, Raito wanted to reveal that he had feelings for the other, but he kept his mouth shut. His emotions in the past led him to pain. He would not make that same mistake. He leaned forward, kissing Ryuuzaki softly. As he pulled back, he offered, "Care to join my family for dinner."

"I do not eat regular food. I prefer cakes."

"You need to eat well."

"I am perfectly fine with eating my sweets."

"I am sure it is about dessert time. So we would have something sweet to eat."

"Then I would gladly come with you." L replied as he stood up. As an attack hit, he leaned on Raito. He felt warm. It felt nice and safe. But he knew that was a lie. He was making lies up to be close to the younger man. It was dangerous being this close to someone who became a mass-murderer. When he was pushed to stand on his own, he sighed, "It was nothing, a small attack that will end quickly."

"Are you sure? You were hot again."

"I know Raito-kun thinks I am hot but please keep that out of public ears."

"Bastard! That is not what I was talking about."

"I know. It was a joke."

"It wasn't a funny joke."

"I thought it was." L replied. When he felt his arm grabbed, he followed the younger man. Yes, he knew it was dangerous being around the other but he could not stop it. Sighing loudly, he asked, "What do you do when your emotions get the best of you?"

"My emotions don't get the best of me."

"I see."

"I use logic to conquer my emotions. Use your logic."

Logic tells him to pull away from Raito, to quickly send Raito to his death before he ends his life. As he continued to follow Raito, he sighed annoyed that his emotions were over ruling him.

Raito was in the same boat. His emotions were over ruling his logic. All he wanted was Ryuuzaki to be near him. He hated needing someone for anything. When his hand was held, he looked down at their hands linked together. He kept telling himself it was nothing, just Ryuuzaki needing help to walk right. When they got to the house, Sayu opened the door to see them holding hands. Seeing her look, he started to explain, "Sayu, it isn't what you think. Ryuuzaki…"

"I cannot see. Raito-kun was leading me to his house." L cut him off. If his blindness was going to be brought up, he was going to tell it.

Sayu sighed, "And here I thought I caught you with your partner. This sucks."

They go into the house and to the kitchen. Sitting down, seeing his father look at them, Raito introduce, "Dad, mom, this is my friend, Ryuuzaki."

"It is a pleasure, Yagami-san and Yagami-san."

"Please call me Sachiko."

"Sachiko-san." L replied as he stared straight ahead. He hoped he wasn't staring at anyone.

Noticing a mark on Ryuuzaki's shoulder, Sayu giggled, "Did you get a hicky from your girlfriend, Ryuuzaki?"

"Sayu!" Sachiko scolded

Smirking, L responded, knowing it will make Raito uncomfortable, "It was from my boyfriend." Every thing becomes silent and he grinned happily.

Raito glanced over at Ryuuzaki. He really wanted to punch the man for saying that. He was already caught holding hands with Ryuuzaki by his sister. Knowing his sister was going to ask questions, he cuts her off before she had a chance, "It isn't your business about Ryuuzaki's personal life, Sayu."

"You were holding hands."

"WHAT!?" Yagami yelled.

Sighing loudly, L helped out his friend, "Yagami-san, we are not in a relationship." This was the truth. They only made out once. That didn't mean anything. It was a mistake and he would make sure it would not happen again. As he looked down, he replied, making himself look distress, "I am blind and Raito-kun was only helping me walk through the city. So I would not bump into anyone or get hit by a car."

"About your boyfriend?"

"I was joking. It was a horrible joke I see. I just thought my personal life was my own business." L answered looking up.

Sayu got silent and sighed, "Sorry for asking."

"It is all right."

Everything goes back to normal. His father began to discussion family issues and his sister began to talk about how school is going. He glanced over at Ryuuzaki and thought, "He can lie so easily and it is convincing."

_Those eyes were blank, no emotions showing in them. This man said they were friends but he kept accusing him of being Kira. He didn't understand how the man can do this so easily. As he turned his chair, he growled, 'For the last time I am not Kira.' _

'_You were though.'_

'_Damn you, L!' _

Snapping out his daze, Raito turned to look at his friend or whatever they were. He can't believe he didn't see it before. The way L talked to him and the way Ryuuzaki talked to him too. They were the same. How was it possible? Was L studying him? As his hand clinch, he wanted to truly hurt the other man. Ryuuzaki was L and he knew it. All he had to do was prove it. He smiled sweetly and began to talk to his family. He would prove it.

L sat there, listening to this boring discussion. Yes, he knew that Raito was only acting when speaking. It was horrible that no one else noticed. As he ate his cake in silence, he heard about detective work. Well, there was a topic he would like to discuss. He spoke up, "Detective work depends on how well you can do it, not age."

"I believe detective work needs experience and age, Ryuuzaki-kun." Yagami responded.

"I do not. I have solved cases before. It is a hobby of mine."

Sayu asked, "How long have you done detective work? My brother loves doing detective work. He has even helped on a few cases in the past."

Tilting his head, L thought about telling the truth or lying through his teeth. As his mind decided it would not be too much trouble to tell the truth, he answered, "I have done it since I was eleven."

"Eleven?" Sachiko replied shocked. "That is very young."

"Yes that is." Yagami agreed. "I am surprised the police let you help so early in your life."

"Yes, it was troublesome." L responded, lied. No one knew it was an eleven year old solving the cases for them. When he felt eyes on him, he turned hoping he was looking at Raito.

Raito sat there silent. He remembered a discussion about the topic in one of his weird dreams. It was true. Did that mean the other dreams were true too? His throat felt heavy while his heart was racing wildly. He could feel sweat running down his face. If the dreams were true, then that means he would kill Ryuuzaki or L, like he believed the older man to be.

Noticing the pale look on her brother's face, Sayu asked concern, "Are you all right, Raito? You look like you have seen a ghost."

Quickly snapping out of his daze, Raito put on a sweet smile and lied, "I'm fine. Just tired, I guess."

"Yeah, all that studying." Sayu replied with laughter in her voice. "But you need to study, so you can solve your own cases."

"I see Raito-kun loves detective work too." L stated, knowing already that the younger man has already started to take on his own cases. Yes, Raito would surpass him. Without his sight, his life as a detective is over.

Sayu asked, "How do you do detective work when you cannot see?"

"Sayu." Sachiko scolded.

"It is all right." L replied. "I was not blind when I was younger. I am afraid now I am done with detective work unless I am told about the crime scenes." Everyone became silent and he knew they were pitying him. He sat there still. He didn't need their pity. He was strong like always. He would make it through this even though his life dream was over. He might be able to help Raito solve cases.

Touching Ryuuzaki's hand in front of his family, Raito retorted, "Maybe you can have someone help you. Read the information for you. Your life's dream isn't over yet." He pulled his hand away before everyone over react by a little touch. When he looked around the table, he noticed everyone didn't see his slip. He looked at Ryuuzaki and figured out why L was so dead set on getting him to work. It made all perfect sense. He stood up and pulled Ryuuzaki up. He looked at his family and retorted, "We are going up to my room to do some homework." His family nodded their heads and he helped Ryuuzaki up to his room. When they got inside, he pushed the man onto his bed, pinning him down. Those eyes looked lifeless but he knew they could change, could show emotion. As he pinned Ryuuzaki's wrists down, he growled, "You are L."

"What makes you think that?"

"You did not deny it." Raito hissed. "Why the hell are you coming around me? Was it to test me?" His anger is over ruling everything. How dare someone come into his life, make him believe that he could have a friend to only have it turn out to be a test.

L laid there wondering what to say and what not to say. He didn't like being like this. He hated it. It showed his weakness. As his leg rose, he kicked the teenager off of him. Glaring at his friend, he sneered, "Do not mistake me for some weakling who cannot defend himself. I am not as weak as I look."

"Get out. I do not need anyone."

His anger disappeared to hear the same words as the past, a past he cannot escape no matter how much he wished it to be gone. As he stood up, he spoke, "My life is over. It is over because I cannot do what I love to do. I was hoping someone to take my place, to make the world a little more peaceful."

Staring at the one who tricked him, Raito did not know what to say. He could continue to argue but what was the point? The other man looked defeated and there was different emotions running wild through those eyes. They read so much sadness. Why was the other looking at him like that? As he stepped forward, he asked, "What else are you hiding?"

L felt the other coming closer to him and he stepped back. He needed to be away from the one who caused him pain. Seeing nothing but darkness, he remembered the place Raito landed when he died. As he placed his thumb to his mouth, he mumbled around it, "I had a friend a long time ago who was just like you. He believed he could change the world if criminals were to die. We were enemies but also friends. Trying to save him or at least his soul, I lost what I dear the most. I lost my ability to work as a detective. Maybe I wanted to save you as well." It was the truth mixed with lies. He wanted to save Raito from himself and in the first life he could not do it. He didn't have time to change the young man but he did now.

"I don't need saving. I do not let my thoughts rule my actions. I would never kill." Raito growled. He can't believe the other man thought he would do such a thing.

'_Kira.' _

'_Kira, you kill.' _

'_Kira, you are no different than the criminals you kill.' _

'_I am Justice. I will end you, Kira.' _

Those words hurt his chest and he wondered why they felt so real. It was like his discussion with L right now. As he stepped back, he ordered, "You need to leave. I will continue to work but I do not want to see you again."

"Very well." L responded as he walked to the door. Using his other senses to get around, he turned his head and stated, hopefully to Raito's face, "I did hope we could become friends."

"What was your friend's name that you could not save?"

"I never said I didn't save him." L replied. "His name was Kira."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews/comments for the story. I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter Six:

The entire room became tense. He didn't move from his spot and didn't know what to say. That one name shook him to his core. It hurt but at the time relieved him. He remembered his dreams about Kira. Who was Kira? What did it mean to him? As he took a step forward, he wrapped his arms around L, stopping the older man from leaving. He leaned his head on L's shoulder and whispered, "That wasn't his real name."

"It was a name he was called."

"Who was he really?"

"No one. He is gone."

He knew that it was a lie but couldn't figure out why he knew that. He needed more information but by the way L was tensing in his arms he knew that he would not get anymore than that. As his lips met L's skin, he could not stop himself from teasing the other man. It felt right being with L like this. Raito wanted his emotions to stop ruling him, but he could not stop them. Logic wasn't making sense. Everything wasn't making sense.

Feeling lips on his skin, L tensed more. He wanted to pull away but at the time he wanted to go closer. He felt his head tilt to give more access to Raito. Why was his body betraying his commands? The way those lips kissed up his neck made goosebumps run across his skin. He felt himself shiver by those teasing lips. Trying to remain calm, he whispered, "We have to stop."

"Why?"

"Because this is not right."

"It feels right to both of us."

Pulling away from Raito, breaking the spell on him, L turned and stated, "We cannot do this. This is very wrong on so many levels."

"No, it isn't." Raito growled. "You just can't let yourself feel." He hated the fact the other man was pulling away from him because he didn't want to feel. Those eyes read life when they made out. He wanted to see them again. He wanted to see the older man's emotions. As he grabbed the older man, pulling him closer, he whispered, "Tell me straight that you do not enjoy me doing this to you." He kissed those lips before they could say no. He dratted his tongue inside, tasting L. He wanted the older man. He didn't understand why. He never felt like this before.

_Sitting there, watching everyone work hard, he glanced over at the one person who was their leader. He saw the older man refusing to work. Why did L have to be so stubborn about the case? He stared longer and he wanted something else from the older man. He wanted to see emotions. Even though L was being in a dump, he never showed his depression. His eyes read nothing. Then he realized he wanted L completely. No one made him feel like this before. _

Was it some kind of sign? Were his dreams a sign of fate that they belonged together? Or was it because he was someone else? He remembered his dreams calling him Kira. Was he Kira? That was impossible. He would never kill for any reason. Would he? L told him that the Kira person killed criminals. He never killed anyone. As he was pushed to the bed, L laying over him, he lost all his thoughts. It didn't matter. All that matter was he had L where he wanted him. He flipped them over, breaking the kiss. L was panting and staring up at him. He saw emotions, so many different ones. He saw lust, desire, but he also saw sadness. He leaned back down and kissed the older man. He didn't want to see those eyes sad.

'_KIRA!'_

'_Kira will lose.' _

'_Kira will die more painful than me.' _

'_Kira might have won the battle, but he will lose the war.' _

_Someone sat on the floor with toys around his thin body. He stared, hatred pouring from him. He could not stand to lose to someone that would never equal to L. He lost. He failed to end the last thing in his way. It was pointless. How could he have lost to a boy who could never rival L? _

_He laid there, dying. He was lost to the world outside. Kira was defeated. Who was there to save him from death? _

_There laid a man who he respected. He won the fight between them. He stared down, smirking, gloating his victory. Still, his heart clinched painfully, almost like he was suffering a heart attack with the older man. He held the body close to him while screaming. It was an act. That was what he told himself, but somewhere inside of him, he was screaming for real. He lost someone dear to him. Someone who could have been a lot more than a friend. _

As the kiss broke, Raito wanted to scream out his pain again. Somehow he was Kira. He knew it like he knew his name was Raito. He could not understand how but it was true. Pulling back, he whispered, "You saved me." He didn't understand why it was important but he had to say it.

Sitting up, L sighed. He needed to leave and quickly. It was too dangerous being around Raito. He stood up and whispered, "Kira is gone. He died."

"You said you saved him."

"I never said rather I saved him or not." L responded. "Kira died." He walked out the door, leaving the teenager alone. Could Kira come back or was it his pride not letting it move past friendship? Yes, he was scared opening himself to someone. It made it worse that Raito was his fiercest enemy.

Inside the bedroom, Raito heard his family say their goodbyes to his friend and the door shut. He hoped the other man would be able to get home safe. As he flopped onto the bed, he wondered why he knew Kira was him. It was impossible. After all, L told him that he died. But didn't his dreams show him dying? Was it some kind of sign that he would die? Looking at the laptop given to him, he began to work on it and hoped to solve some cases. Now that he knew Ryuuzaki was L, he wanted to prove to the other man that he could do this even if his beliefs tell him that criminals deserve to die.

In a car, Watari asked, "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"I have known you since you were a boy. Lying to me is impossible."

"Mind your own business."

"I will not this time. You are doing something dangerous."

"He will not see me again except through a computer."

"He might need to see you more to save him."

"He is starting to remember. I cannot let my emotions over rule my logic. Not this time around."

"You might send him to his death before he commits anything."

"If Kira arises again, I will end him without thinking twice. If Kira arises, he would be able to defeat everyone that could stop him. I will not let that happen." L replied without thinking twice on the matter. What really scared him was he was falling into Raito's charm. He was enjoying the sweet kisses that could prove to be deadly. He wanted to be close to Raito even though Raito could kill him. No, he could not be close to the young man any longer. If he let it continue, he would be risking not only his life but the lives of his heirs. Even though he never personally met them, talked to them face to face, he still cared for them. They might be the closest thing to family to him.

In the front seat, Watari sighed sadly. He knew that the reason L was acting like this was because the young man didn't understand his emotions. If anyone got close to him, he would find a way to push them away. L was doing it again and he knew it. Raito was getting close to L and L was pushing him away. As he stared straight ahead, he realized that L could not stand being in love, to him love was hurt.

Days turned into weeks and Raito sat in front of the laptop hoping to hear L's voice. All he got was case files to solve. He haven't seen L or even heard from him. For some reason, it hurt. His dreams became a nightly occurrence. First L would die in his arms, he would scream partly faking it and really meaning it, and then he would be faced with a young teenager killing him. He woke up every time with tears coming down his face. He knew he wasn't crying for his death but for L's. He slammed his hand against the desk, angry at himself for feeling. He should not feel anything. He could not cope with emotions. It was the same way with L. They were different and they knew it. When he heard his father come in, he hid the laptop in his desk. For some reason, he remembered hiding something else in it.

_A small black note book laid in the desk, hiding in a secret place. He didn't want anyone to see it or touch it. He could not afford letting anyone see what he was doing. _

He snapped out of his daze when his door was opened. Turning to look at his father, he asked, "What's up?"

Sitting on his son's bed, Yagami responded with his own question, "What happened between you and that Ryuuzaki kid? Since that night, he has not be over. Your mother thought you seemed closed."

"It's nothing. He just hasn't been in school. Think he doesn't come because of him being blind." Raito lied. He knew that L didn't want to see him again. L was hiding from his emotions, using logic instead like he should. Oh, he wanted the older man. He craved to touch the pale skin once again, to kiss those lips, and to mark the other his. His dreams were driving him mad and he needed someone to tell. Who would listen and not think he was losing his mind? He could not figure them out. Was he Kira? Was he dreaming about someone else? The latter he knew was false. Every time he dreamt, they were about him and L.

Sighing loudly, Yagami replied, "I see. Well if you want to talk about it, I am here."

Running into the room, Sayu spoke quickly, "Someone by the name Quillish Wammy is on the phone for you Raito. He said it concerned Ryuuzaki-kun."

Standing up quickly, Raito walked out the room and answered the phone, "Hello, Wammy-san."

"I need you to come to a hotel."

"Why?"

"Ryuuzaki is very sick. Even though he will be upset with me for doing this, I know he considers you a friend and that is what he needs now."

"Give me the address and I will come."

"I am picking you up this moment. I will be there within a few minutes."

The line disconnected and he felt worry running through him. He didn't need this. He didn't need emotions. He grabbed his coat and explained when his mother came out of the kitchen, "Ryuuzaki is sick and I'm going over to be there for him."

"Oh no. I hope he will be fine." Sachiko replied.

"What about your studies, Raito?" Yagami asked.

"I'll take it with me, but I'm ahead in school right now." Raito answered, knowing he was at least a few months ahead in his homework and studies. When he heard a knock at the door, he thought, "He must have called me when he was almost here." He said his goodbyes and told his family he might stay over Ryuuzaki's for the night. As he stepped outside, he felt the cold air hit his face. Looking at the man who called himself Wammy, that he knew now was Watari, he asked, "Did L tell you that I know?"

"Yes he did. Please take care of him."

He stepped inside the car without saying a word. How can he care for a man who didn't want it? What does he feel for the older man? He didn't know what his feelings were. He didn't want them to begin with. He didn't need them. All his life, he got through with lying and charming everyone. L couldn't be lied to or charmed. As the ride lasted only five minutes, he stepped out of the car and followed Watari to the room. When he entered, he sighed looking at the mess. Computer parts were littered on the floor and papers were throw everywhere. He followed the elderly man down the hall. When he entered the bedroom with no one in, he turned to look at Watari in question.

"He is in the bathroom. He should be out soon." Watari replied, leaving the young man alone.

As he sat down on the bed, Raito heard the shower on. He didn't want to be here but at the same time he did. What was going on with him? He needed to be logic.

In the bathroom, L stayed under the cold water, feeling it pickle his skin. He needed to calm down. His emotions for the weeks away from Raito were driving him to madness. He dreamt of his death and the death of his enemy. He cried for the other. It was not because he felt guilt for the young man's death but because he could not save him. He could not stand feeling. His pride took a blow to realize that maybe he needed the other in his life. He never needed anyone and now he was going crazy without hearing from the teenager even though it was by his own choice. As he stepped out of the shower, he mumbled, "Use logic, not emotions."

When L stepped out of the bathroom in all his glory, Raito gulped down the lump that formed in his throat. Never before did he see a perfect body like L's. Water dripped down L's hair, falling down his hairless chest, going all the way down his stomach to his groin. He bit back a groan that was forming. As he looked away, he sighed, "You really need a towel."

Stopping in his tracks, L didn't except to hear that voice again. Realizing Watari brought him, he growled, "I presume Watari brought you here."

"He said that you were sick." Raito answered while he stood up. Walking to the other, watching as L backed away, he leaned forward and whispered, "You have no idea what you are doing to me."

"I can say the same about you."

"We like each other rather we like it or not."

"Get over yourself. I do not like you."

He could not stop himself. He needed to feel the other man. He leaned down and kissed those lips. When L struggled against him, he grabbed L's cock, feeling it jump in his hand. Rubbing L in the most private place, Raito whispered while kissing L, "You like it."

He could not deny he enjoyed the attention on him. His body craved the touch just like craving water. But L wanted to deny it all. As he felt his back hit the wall, he knew he was doomed. He wanted the other more than anything. He needed someone who understood him. As lips fall to his neck, he moaned softly. He wondered what he looked like to the other.

As he glanced upwards, Raito saw raw emotions fly across L's face. He wanted to see that for so long. Moving his lips down L's body, he listened to every moan, groan, pant, and whimper. He never thought to hear those sounds coming L, but the older man was making them. He wondered what he was doing. It felt right but at the same time wrong. He was letting his emotions over rule his logic. He hated feeling like this. Standing up, he pulled L close to him. Everything was spinning around and he felt so dizzy. He was intoxicant by the older man.

L tried to fight back while being pulled to the bed, "No." His words were false and they even sounded like it. He craved this. When he landed on the bed, he tried to use his other senses to locate the younger man. When he felt skin against his own, he whimpered. Why was he going along with this?

They fought for dominance. It was a game between them to see who came out on top. Raito had no problem with it. It made it so much more interesting. As they rolled around on the bed, heating passion between them, Raito kissed those lips. He needed to know the older man was alive, was not dead like his dreams, and that he was in fact human like him. They touched each other, trying to find the most sensation spots on each other, trying to win. It was a game that they were enjoying. As he flipped L over, Raito stared down panting from their passion.

As he panted, wondering why he was letting this happen, L groaned, "Lube in top drawer." There was no way he was going to let this go farther without some kind of lube.

"I never thought you would bottom."

"Who ever said I was going to bottom?"

"I did because there is no way I am going to let you top." Raito replied while grabbing the lube. He had no plan in hurting the older man. He might not have sex but he read about it. He lubed his fingers.

Flipping the other over, L sighed, "Do not even think it. I will not be controlled."

"Controlled?"

"That is what Raito-kun is trying to do."

"Being top or bottom, both partners have control." Raito spoke heated. He needed to feel the other even more. Yes, part of the reason was he wanted that dominance over the older man. He didn't understand why but he wanted it. And what he wanted, he got. Before the other could say another word, he shoved his finger up inside of L. He groaned feeling the tightness around just his finger. He got hot thinking how it would feel with his cock shoved up there.

Stopping from all movements, L wondered what to do now. He didn't want to be bottom. It felt uncomfortable and what he read it would hurt some. Pain wasn't on the lists of things he would like to feel. Didn't love hurt? He knew that well. He was left alone in the world. Even though he had Watari, he didn't have his parents, they left him. Didn't he love the younger man who once killed him? Didn't he felt betrayed by that act alone? As he squirmed, trying to find a way to be comfortable, he felt that finger move in and out of him, making him squirm even more. When he felt two fingers enter him, he whimpered. This wasn't what he wanted. Did he really want to control Raito?

Pulling his fingers out, Raito flipped them back over. The game was over. He needed to feel L more than ever before. He whispered, "I will be careful." He slowly put his fingers inside, three this time around. He watched L's eyes widen. Kissing those lips that felt so warm, he tried to distract the older man.

He felt free even though it felt uncomfortable. It was like he has been waiting for this for so long. Maybe he has waited for this to happen. Everything disappeared from mind when Raito's fingers hit something inside of him that made him see white. His hips pushed down onto those fingers. He wanted to feel that feeling again. L couldn't stop wanting more even though it was wrong. He was sleeping with his enemy.

He pulled his fingers away to gain a whimper. He couldn't wait anymore. He needed to be inside the older man. Throwing L's leg over his shoulders, Raito stared down at the man who showed no emotion. He saw the sweat rolling down L's body, making him crave the other more. Yes, they were perfect for each other. He thrust inside, hearing a scream. He couldn't stop himself from pushing all the way in. He began kissing everywhere on L to distract the other from the pain.

It was painful and uncomfortable, but he was filled. He realized he wanted this for a long time. Maybe even in his past life. He never thought he wanted something like this. As he closed his eyes tight, he felt tears falling. He wasn't crying because this was a mistake. His tears were falling because of the pain. He felt lips touch his face, kissing away his tears. He couldn't take it any longer and ordered, "Move already."

They met each other half way. They both wanted this. Their bodies danced with each other, matched each thrust. They wanted this to last forever. Raito was sure L felt the same way. He was losing control fast and knew he wouldn't last long. After all, this was his first time. He grabbed L's cock, matching his strokes with his thrusting.

His entire sight goes white when he came into Raito's hand. It felt relieving to feel like this. When he felt a couple more thrusts and semen flow inside of him, he felt Raito flop next to him. His senses came back ten fold. L closed his eyes and groaned, "This was a mistake."

"You keep saying that but there is something between us."

"Raito-kun is wrong."

"No, you are." Raito argued. "You keep denying that you enjoy my company."

He felt fingers fly across his skin and he could not deny it. He wanted this as much as Raito. He knew Raito wanted this. If Raito didn't, it would not have happened. His body was pulled to Raito's and he let the warmth feel him up. He needed to get away but for the first time he wasn't letting his logic win. He hated feeling like this. Love hurt. He knew that well.

"Who hurt you so much to stop you from letting feelings come to play?"

"I could ask you the same question. You fake your happiness. You are a miserable person." L replied pulling away from the younger man. He needed another shower. As he sat up, he hissed in pain.

He watched as the older man limped to the bathroom. What was he thinking? What did he let happen? As he sat up in bed, Raito growled. He shouldn't have let it happen; feelings only caused pain. That was one thing him and L agreed on.

'_Kira must be you.' _

'_Why?'_

'_Because you are the only one who can match me.' _

'_Can you stop accusing my son of being such an evil creature?' _

'_Yagami-san, I will suspect him until he is proven innocence to my eyes.' _

'_Which will be never.' _

'_Never is a long time.' _

'_No shit.' _

'_Let's get back to work.' _

'_I am not Kira.' _

'_I have said this before but I will say it again. I believed Raito-kun to be Kira in the past. He is not Kira now.' _

'_You are an asshole.' _

Raito sighed annoyed. Why did he keep getting these feelings? Why did he feel like he did something wrong? As he lay back down, he groaned, "It is nothing."

After his shower, L walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him. He didn't need a repeat again. As he walked to his bed, he let his hands feel if the other man was still here. When he felt a lump, he sighed and began to dress. Since he heard no sounds coming from the younger man, he can presume the other is fast asleep. When he was dressed, he run his hand over Raito's face and sighed sadly, "Kira was my enemy. No, you were, Raito-kun. Raito-kun was Kira. For Kira I gave up everything. Will you betray me once again? Will you kill me again?"

Raito wanted to tense by those words but kept still. He didn't need the other man knowing he was awake. How could he have killed this man when said man was still alive? Were his dreams true after all? Everything made sense to him even though it was impossible.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews/comments for the story. I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter Seven:

He finally knew he was this Kira character even though it sounded impossible. His dreams and the way L spoke of him, he was Kira. How was it possible? He didn't remember killing any criminals. When he felt the weight leave him, he listened to L walk around the room. He wanted to help the older man but he presumed that his help would not be taken well. He heard the door open and close. He was alone. Sitting up in the bed, he stared straight ahead. He wondered what to do. If his dreams were true, wouldn't that mean he would kill L. But L said he died. How was that possible? L was alive just like him. He stood up and put on his clothes. He needed to leave so he could think clearly.

In the living area, L responded, "You should not have brought him."

"You cannot keep running away."

"I know he is remembering and that is dangerous."

"Your plan was to change him. If you keep your distance, he might not change."

"You do not remember how Kira was, I do. He cared for no one. He killed without thinking twice on it. If he remembered, he would do it again. He felt nothing for my death."

Raito leaned against the wall, grabbing his chest. What were they talking about? Were they speaking about him? What was happening? He was Kira but how? Glancing in the room to see Watari with a worry expression and L's eyes read nothing. It remained him of himself except he would fake his emotions to fit in.

_The body of the older man lay in his arms and he grinned down, showing the other that he won. _

Raito closed his eyes. There was something he was missing. It was important. He only needed one more clue to get the entire puzzle. The person who could give him that clue was L. He needed to ask but was afraid to ask. Instead he stayed hidden, listening to the other two talk.

"L, you sacrificed everything to save him and now you will give up trying to do it."

"I know. I gave up my sight, took his punishment to give him a second chance at life. He died horribly."

Once again, Raito grabbed his chest. His dreams were real. They meant it happened, but how? He needed out of here. He stepped out to see Watari looking at him. Glancing over at L, a man who he slept with, felt for, he spoke, "I need to go home." He refused to tell them he heard their discussion.

L walked to the window, staring out it, knowing he will never see it again. He made his decision tonight. As he placed his hand on the cold glass, he replied, "Come here tomorrow, Raito. I will have more cases for you and something else."

Raito said nothing but left the hotel room. He needed to think about what he heard and what he dreamt. It made no sense but something told him it did.

"_Wait! You are leaving me alone!" Raito yelled. _

_L sighed sadly, "I only came to see you. I do not belong here." _

"_So you came to gloat." _

"_What difference does it matter why I came when Raito will never believe my words?" _

"_Leave L. I do not need you or anyone for that matter." _

"_That is not what Raito said when faced with death. Raito wanted someone to come to save him." _

"_ENOUGH!" The female voice rang out in the darkness. "Your time is up." _

_Hunching over even more, placing his thumb across his lower lip, and biting the thumb, L asked, "Could we change this?" _

"_You ask for a lot, L Lawliet." The voice replied. "He is not worth the sacrifice." _

"_What are you talking about?" Raito asked rudely. He wanted to know what was going on. L should not be here with him. He should not suffer the same fate. _

_When he looked back at the higher being, he nodded his head and retorted, "He is well worth it." _

_Sighing loudly, listening to the young murderer scream out his rage, the female smiled while she spoke, "I see. Maybe one day you will see as well, L Lawliet."_ _Before either of the two young men could say a word, she raised her hand and every part of the darkness lit up white. Watching as the men began to disappear, she whispered, "Hopefully you will see this time around." _

As he continued to walk, Raito felt tears ready to escape. He knew the truth. He was in love with the older man. Was it possible to stop fate from happening? When he looked down, there was something laying there, waiting to be picked up.

_A black notebook lay there, waiting for someone to pick it up. A figured looked at it but laughed inside by what it read, 'Death Note.' _

He had to pick it up. He had no control in picking it up. As the book touched him, Raito's world span around. He looked straight a head as everything came back to him. His plans for a new world came back quickly. He leaned against a building as every memory came back to him.

'_Kira, I am justice. I will end you.' _

'_Raito-kun welcome to the team.' _

'_Raito-kun was Kira, I am sure about that.' _

'_Raito-kun is my first friend.' _

'_Let us find Kira together, Raito-kun.' _

_The body lay in his arms and he screamed like never before. Why was he screaming? Was he faking his grief or was he really grieving? Part of him was rejoicing that he won their game but the other part was in deep sorrow to lose a friend. _

Raito closed his eyes. He didn't lose a friend he lost someone that he loved.

_The night was late and he couldn't read any more information on the computer. Instead, he glanced over at L, the leader of investigation. To his surprise, he saw the other was fast asleep. Staring at the peaceful expression, he whispered, 'You never look like that when you are awake.' His hand raised and he touched L's face, pushing some hair out of the older man's face. It felt good. It felt amazing to be touching a man, who seemed untouchable. _

He pushed himself away from the building. He needed to be alone, in the privacy of his own room. His feet carried him to his home. He placed the book on his desk, staring at it. What could he do? He could do it again. He could be Kira once more and win completely. But his emotions were coming to play. They were telling him he wanted L and if he became Kira once again, he would never have L by his side. A loud laughter rang throughout his room and he turned to look at the one who ended his life before hand. Without showing any emotion, he spoke, "Hello Ryuk."

"Hyuk. Hyuk." Ryuk laughed. "What are you going to do? I was hoping that you would pick it up again."

Raito shoved the book into his desk. He didn't know what to do. His emotions were over ruling any logic he had. He had slept with his enemy and enjoyed it. He wanted the older man again, under his power. He flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling, picturing every moment he had with L.

Meanwhile at the hotel, L sat in a chair, eyes closed. What did it matter if they were open or closed? As he heard his caretaker walk in, he whispered, "Inform the police, I wish to see them tomorrow."

"What time?"

"The same time Raito comes. He will come after school."

"That would cause trouble."

"I have an announcement to make." L answered and listened to his caretaker leave the room. His body craved the other man's touch. His body still tingled by the touches the other gave him. It felt good and made him feel alive. He needed the other in his life but he would make it end. Emotions were horrible, they clouded your judgment. He could not let that happen. What if Kira came back? Would he be able to stand against Raito if his emotions played a part in it? Then again, didn't his emotions already played a part in the whole ordeal?

The next day, Yagami stared at Watari confused. It was surprising to hear that L, the greatest detective alive wanted to meet them in person. He never heard of L showing his face to anyone. He stood up and replied, "It would be an honor to meet L."

Watari replied with a kind smile, "I hope you will enjoy his company."

Everyone left the office and headed to follow Watari to the hotel they will meet L. They all wondered what the detective would be like.

Meanwhile, Raito walked down the streets, ready to flip out. Beside him was a shinigami bothering him about becoming Kira. He couldn't do it but at the same wanted to. He remembered what Watari said about L's condition. L lost his sight to save him. He felt horrible about it. L was wrong about him not feeling anything. He would seem L was right a long. He was human after all. As he turned the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks. He saw his father and the other officers coming to the same hotel. Was L going to end him now? As he swallowed his fear, he calmed himself. There was nothing holding him to Kira. No one knew he was Kira and Kira didn't exist now.

Ryuk chuckled, "Hey, Raito are you going to become Kira again? It was so much fun when you were him."

Raito ignored the shinigami and continued to walk. When Matsuda saw him, he flinched for the other man yelling at him. His father looked over confused as well as the other men. These were the men who sent him to his death. Matsuda walked over and touched his shoulder. He couldn't stop the flinch and pulling away from the man. Calming his features, he asked, "What is everyone doing here?"

Watari answered for them, "L requested them to come like you."

"What?" Yagami asked. "Explain yourself."

"It is best to hear out L first. He will explain everything." Watari replied while walking inside. He felt everyone was following him.

Raito walked by his father. What would he father have done to learn he was Kira in the past? He died before he could ever learn his son's insanity. Was he insane for wanting the world peaceful? Ryuk was howling behind him and it was getting harder to ignore the beast. When the entered the hotel room, he watched his father's expression change. His father was surprised to be staring at his friend Ryuuzaki.

Standing there without seeing anyone, L sighed by the silence. Then everyone became to ask if he was really L. He spoke, "Yes I am L. Please call me Ryuuzaki."

"Is that your real name?" Aizawa snapped.

"No." Raito answered and froze when he gained the attention of Watari and L. He realized L wasn't really looking at him but trying to. He answered a question that he shouldn't have known. He was giving himself away.

L stood there frozen. Did Raito remember or was he presuming it wasn't his name? He wished he could see the other man to read him. As he tried to sit down, almost falling onto the floor, he became mad at himself. Pulling his legs up to his chest, he retorted, "Raito-kun is correct. My real name is not Ryuuzaki and I will not be revealing my name. I did not call you here for that."

Yagami asked rudely, "Then why did you call us here?"

"How do you know Raito-kun?" Aizawa asked, backing his boss up.

"I became a friend to Raito-kun a little while ago. I wanted to see his ways." L answered. Now is the time to surprise everyone. Only two people in the room would understand why he was doing this.

Raito stared at his enemy. What was the other planning? He could win this so easily but his emotions were making it difficult to do anything. When he started to imagine L's death, he would picture every way L was the night before when they made love. Was it making love or was it just a good lay? He wasn't sure what he wanted; L or become Kira again. His mind was spinning around in circles. He couldn't think right. It was like being near L messed up his logic. This could be the end of him. After all, L has the power, he doesn't need any proof. But in the past, L fought to gain proof before sentencing him to death. Will L do it again?

As he closed his eyes, he shut out everything. The world was done for. He was losing. He couldn't stop feeling even though he wished it. He could end the threat before it becomes one. L had enough power to end Raito right now. As he opened his eyes to see nothing but blackness, he announces, "I give the L title to Raito-kun."

Everyone spoke at once, "What?"

"I give the L title to Raito-kun." L repeated and then explained. "I am no longer able to do my job. The reason I came here was to look for my replacement."

Raito stared at the man who he hatred but respected. He could not believe his ears. He could do what he truly desired and win completely. Would he still have L by his side? Looking at the older man, he knew that would be impossible. L would have a back up plan. Everyone in the room looked shocked to hear L's words and he couldn't blame them. He was shocked too even though he hid it well.

"My son is too young for…" Yagami began to say.

L cut Yagami off, "I give Raito-kun the job offer not Yagami-san. Raito-kun will have to make the decision not anyone else." He stood up and walked to the hallway. It was time to leave them alone. He didn't care to be around people. As he placed his hand on the wall, he became to walk down the hallway.

Without realizing what he was saying, Raito shouted, "You can't give up because of Kira!"


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews/comments for the story. I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter Eight:

The entire room froze and they all looked confused. Only three people knew what was said. As L turned to face the voice that screamed out his confession, he spoke, "Raito-kun has no idea what Kira was. Kira was a monster, an evil creature who destroyed lives without remorse. He was my greatest enemy and I would never allow him to win me over."

"Giving up now is proof enough that you are letting him win."

"I could end Kira right here and now. With my power, Kira would die as quickly as he breathe."

Raito backed up, ready to run if needed. He didn't want to die and he knew L's threat was real. L could end him without a fight. He was L after all. Ryuk howled out behind him and he wanted to scream.

_L lay in his arms, dying. He could do nothing about it. He couldn't have the older man stand in his way but he wanted the older man in his life. Everything became dull and lifeless. It was boring once again and he hated it. _

Raito looked at everyone; they were all focus on him. They wanted to know what was going on. They had no idea about Kira. They all were unaware of the fight between him and L. Something in him snapped and he spoke dangerously, "You are backing away because you are a coward. End Kira now if you can."

"Raito, what is going on?" Yagami finally asked confused by the fight between L and his son.

Stepping forward, L laughed coldly. He could win right there and now. He could end the threat before it became one. He had the power to end Raito's life, but his emotions were telling him to stop before he would regret something. He stopped walking and hissed, "I could end Raito-kun right here and now, no question. Do not test me."

"HEY!" Aizawa yelled. "You can't do anything to him! He hasn't done anything!"

L laughed once again and growled, "Stay out of our business. This has nothing concerning you."

"I believe it does." Yagami stated. "You are accusing my son of something illegal." He stepped in front of his son only to have his son push him aside. He looked at his son confused.

Raito stared at the man who he never thought to see emotions. He wanted it for so long. He wanted the older man by his side. What was he thinking? He was Kira and L was his enemy. If that was true, then why did they have a passionate night together? They enjoyed it. At least he did. As he stepped forward, he whispered, "Then do it, L. Send me to my grave."

Watari stared between his ward and the young man. He wanted to step in the way but he saw they needed this. Whatever happened the night before got to them. They were not holding back anything, their emotions were showing.

L felt his world spinning. He knew that he was losing. His emotions were a strong hold on him. He couldn't end Raito even if he wanted to. He didn't want to lose his friend again. Were they friends? Were they enemies? Were they lovers? What were they? They enjoyed each other company. They enjoyed their time together when they were fooling around. He fell back into the wall and sighed, "Leave. The job is still on the table."

Raito wanted to argue but L turned toward the hallway and walked away. Everyone was looking at him confused by what happened. He was confused too. He didn't know what he wanted. He wanted L. He wanted to rid the world of criminals.

Watari spoke, "Please forgive L. He has no been himself lately."

"I do not believe that guy at all. He straight threatened Raito-kun." Aizawa responded.

Raito knew he had everyone on his side this time. When will they betray him? They did in the past. They were the ones who ended his life. Ryuk bounced against the walls, howling in laughter. He turned and responded, "I will be back later on to discuss when I start."

Watari watched as the young man left. He sighed. They really needed each other, only if they would admit it.

Yagami was ready to protest but something told him to back off this time. He left with his men following behind him.

Outside, Raito walked down the sidewalk, thinking. He wasn't sure what to say but that. He took the job offer even though L could still end him. Ryuk floated in front of him and he whispered, "Kira died when you killed him."

Ryuk howled, "So the great Kira is giving up."

"It might be fun being L." Raito responded. He continued to walk with the shinigami following him. He realized everything L sacrificed for him. He couldn't end a man who did something like that to save him. He decided then and there that he would do everything in his power to ensure L stays L.

At the hotel, L breathed in and out. As he leaned against the door, he grabbed his chest. It was time. He was losing time and he hated it. Sliding down the door, he closed his eyes tightly. It was now or never. He had to make sure Raito would take his way and not become Kira again. He heard a knock and replied, "Leave me alone." He was not going to show how weak he was to anyone including Watari. He heard the footsteps walk away from the door.

'_He must change or else.' _

'_You took his punishment. Kira arises again and it will be you who suffers.' _

'_Do you understand what you are taking upon yourself?'_

Yes he knew what he was taking upon himself. He was sacrificing his life. He curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth. He wasn't ready to die. He needed a plan to protect those that was like his family. He would have to give his title to one of his heirs and ensure they would end Raito if he were to die.

At the Yagami household, Raito went to his room, shutting the door and locking it. He flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. What would he do? Ryuk grabbed an apple from his desk. Should he give up the death note and forget about being Kira? He closed his eyes, falling asleep.

_The room was dark. No sound was made in the room. As he stepped through the piles of papers on the floor, he whispered, 'Ryuuzaki.' _

'_Why do you call me by my false name?' _

'_I don't know your real name.' _

'_But you do.' _

'_L, I want…' _

'_Raito-kun wants me dead, so I am.' _

'_No!' _

'_Kira-kun is lying.' _

_He stepped around the broken computer parts and stared down at the bundle in front of him. As he leaned down, he lifted L's face. The touch made him crave the other. He caressed L's face, realizing that he wanted this for so long. He desired L._

_Everything spanned around him and he was holding L's limp body. He screamed in horror of what he did. He killed his friend; his lover. Yes, he wanted the older man to be his partner. It made perfect sense, they were the same. He pulled the deceased body closer to his frame. He cried slightly and no one saw his true emotions. No one would know that he ended L. He would live and fight until he was one with L. He would ensure he would lose. _

_The warehouse was where he would join L. He stared at the teenager with distaste. He could not believe that he was ensuring his loss by the hands of someone who would never equal L. He hated that he decided on losing. He wanted to be with L. Of course, he knew that wasn't going to happen. No, he wanted to pay for his sin. As the bullets pierced through his skin, he screamed at Matsuda for being an idiot. But inside he was rejoicing. He wanted to die. He had wanted to for so long. _

Raito awoke startled out of his dream. He never thought he felt that way. As he looked around the room, he stood up. He needed to see L. He needed to know the older man was alive like him. He couldn't stop thinking something horrible was happening. He walked out of his room, saying he was going out to his mother. His father didn't come back yet.

L stared out the window without clothes except his boxers. He was freezing but it made him feel alive. He leaned against the glass, trying to ensure he was alive. He needed to know he was breathing like the day before. He met death once before and he wasn't this scared. Why was he scared? He was frightened because Raito was dangerous. He was scared that he would be betrayed. His heart was laid open to the other man when they had sex. His heart told him that he was in love with Raito and was for a while. He might even been in love with the younger man in their first lives.

Walking inside the hotel room, Raito found L leaning against the glass. His entire body shone through the darken room. As he moved forward, he watched as L turned his head. The older man looked so sad and he wanted those eyes to have passion in them like the night before. When he was behind L, he wrapped his arms around the thin frame to only speak, "You are freezing."

"It makes me feel alive, Kira-kun."

Raito flinched by hearing those words. L knew that he remembered. He wanted to pull back, afraid that he would die now. He didn't want his life to end. He didn't want to end L's. For the first time, he let his emotions beat his logic. He was in love with the older man. Maybe he was in love with the other in their first lives. As he pulled L closer, he whispered, "You will catch a cold like this."

"I can deal with a mere cold. After all, I am dealing with blindness good."

"You gave up your title. I do not call it good."

"Without my sight, I cannot see the crime scenes. I would be a poor detective like this."

"L."

"Why did Raito-kun come?"

"I needed to know you were alive."

"Why?"

"I… I… don't know."

"Raito-kun makes no sense." L sighed sadly. "We are enemies but he comes to ensure I am alive."

"Can we forget that we were enemies? Can we forget about our past lives?"

"Can you give up your memories?"

"If I do then I will not understand anything."

"Then we cannot forget we are enemies."

Raito was ready to speak but shut his mouth. What could he say? He turned L around and stared into blank eyes. They read nothing. They didn't tell him what L was thinking. He leaned down and kissed L. He enjoyed it. He could not believe that he never realized that he was in love with L in their first lives.

Pulling back, L raised his hand, caressing Raito's face. It felt good being held by the other man. It felt wonderful having Raito with him, but he knew that it was doom to start with. Their time together was going to be short. Closing his eyes, he whispered, "It is a mistake to be together."

Pushing L against the wall, Raito hissed, "It is not a mistake. We are meant to be together."

"Kira and L are not meant to be together. We are on opposite sides."

"What about L Lawliet and Raito Yagami?"

His heart races wildly to hear his real name spoken from Raito's lips. Part of it was from fear, the other was from excitement. Opening his eyes, knowing he would not see anything, L spoke, "Raito-kun and Kira-kun cannot exist at the same time. Only one can stay."

"You want me to choose between remembering and not remembering."

"Yes."

Raito was willing to do it but he hated not understanding. He was never good with not understanding something. If he didn't understand something, he made sure he would understand it. He knew that he wouldn't be able to handle not understanding their past lives. As he leaned his head against L's, he whispered, "I can't do that. I would go crazy trying to figure out what is between us."

L closed his eyes with a bitter smile on his face. As he pushed the other back, he replied, "There is nothing between us if Raito chooses to continue as Kira."

"I have no plans on carrying on Kira's plans!" Raito shouted. He didn't understand why he was so upset about this. It hurt and he didn't want the pain. As he looked at L, his emotions changed from anger to worry. L was falling. He caught to feel the other hot as fire. Picking the thin body up, he asked, "What is wrong?"

"It is nothing. It will go away."

"You always keep saying that."

"It is the truth." L replied, closing his eyes, hiding away the truth. He would not let Raito know that he was dying because Raito refused to give up the death note. When he was set on the bed, he grabbed a hold of Raito's arm and whispered, "If I die, so do you."

Raito stared down at the one who he hates but also loves. He tilted his head and thought about the threat. It wasn't a threat but a promise. He would lose his life with L's. For some reason, he was all right with that thought. There wasn't much a life without L. He sat on the edge of the bed and asked, "What is really going on with you? What price did you take to bring me back?" He has to know all the facts to be able to help.

"I took his punishment. I am blind like Raito-kun should have been." L answered with half truths. He couldn't tell the other man that he was dying because of him. It might take Raito over the edge and he didn't want that to happen.

He stared down at the man who saved him. He knew the other wasn't telling him everything but he didn't call the older man on it. As he stood up, he went to the bathroom and got a cold wash clothe. When he walked inside the room, he lay the clothe on L's head. Raito wanted to know everything. He hated not knowing everything.

"Hey Raito, why the hell are you helping your enemy?" Ryuk asked when he floated into the room.

Raito didn't turn around or spoke to the shinigami. He couldn't risk L sending him away. Something was wrong and he knew it. He needed to know what the cause of these attacks. Were they because L saved him? Was L suffering more for him? As he caress the pale face, he whispered, "L, please tell me what I have to do."

L heard the words but he couldn't tell the other what he had to do. Raito had to make the choice himself. As he turned away from the caress, he responded, "Raito needs to figure that out himself."

"L, I don't want to fight. I just want to help…"

"Kira-kun has no emotions."

Raito was ready to argue but he could understand why L could say such things. As he watched the older man fall asleep, he thought it was weird to see the other falling asleep. It used to take so many arguments to get L to go to sleep in the past. Caressing L's face, feeling the fever, he mumbled, "I want to save you this time." He stood up and left the room. When he walked into the living area, he saw Watari standing there. He spoke, "L is asleep."

"You are ruining him."

"I'm trying to help him. I want…"

"You killed him in the past without even a second thought."

"So he told you."

"Yes and you are making him insane now. What more do you want from him? Didn't you do enough to him?"

"I did not mean for this to happen. What is happening to him?"

"He will not tell me anything except that he would go blind for you. He sacrificed everything for you and you are not even listening to him when he tells you to give it up." Watari spoke passionately.

Raito glared at the elderly man. The man didn't understand anything. Watari didn't know what they went through in their first lives and now. He stormed out of the hotel room. He didn't have to explain himself to anyone. He couldn't give up his memories since he would forget everything L and him been through.

_L lay there still, unmoving. He wasn't going to get back up. Everyone was around, mourning. What did they know? They didn't respect the older man. He was nothing to them, just someone to get the job done. But Raito felt. He couldn't stand feeling remorse for his enemy. His mind kept telling him, 'It was him or you.' It was the truth but he didn't have to like it. _

_L lay there, peacefully. Maybe if he kept lying to himself, he could say L was asleep. He knew that it was pointless. L was dead and he wanted to cry. Instead he screamed. Everyone was around him, looking worry. _

_He knew he had to act fast before the others found the other death note. He stood up and yelled, 'Shinigami, where are you!? You coward!' He found the death note in a pile of ashes. He could return to being Kira and no one would ever find out. He would be L and Kira at the same time. _

Raito stopped in his tracks remembering that time. It was a great plan but he lost. No one ever knew that deep inside he wanted to lose. He didn't even know that he set it up so he would lose. He shook his head and continued to walk. When he got home, his father was waiting for him. He looked at his father and sighed. Rather he liked it or not, they were going to discuss about the job offer. He sat at the kitchen table. His mother left him and his father's dinner there. He would have to thank her tomorrow morning.

Yagami asked, "What was going on between you and L earlier?"

He knew that question was going to be asked. He sat there silent. He couldn't tell his father about their first lives. His father would think he was nuts. He needed to find a good lie and he found it, "Kira was an old enemy of L's. It would seem I remind him of this Kira person."

His father spoke, "You can't do the job. You are too young."

Raito set his fork down onto the table. He was tired of everyone deciding what he could do or not. He wasn't too young for detective work. After all, L was eleven when he started and he was the greatest detective alive. He looked at his father in the eye and replied, "I can do this job with ease and still keep my grades perfectly. I want to do this. You and I both know why L is giving up. He believes he can't do it because he can't see anymore. I want to be by his side, convincing him that he can still do good for the world. I need to do this."

Yagami responded, "L once said that you were bored out of your mind. Is that the truth?"

"It is the truth." Raito answered. "I am ahead in all my classes and the exams coming up will be ease for me." This was the first time telling the truth. He needed his father to understand that no matter what he was going to do the job. His father sighed but said nothing else. He began to eat again. Tomorrow would start a new life for him.

At the hotel, L sat in the bed, staring, but seeing nothing. He was feeling weaker by the second. He hated feeling this way but he could do nothing about it. It was up to Raito to save his life. When he heard the door, he spoke, "You should really mind your own business."

"I will not when it concerns you." Watari retorted.

"He must decide on his own."

"And if he doesn't in time, we will lose you."

"Once I die, so does he."

"What if he doesn't wish to be Kira anymore? You would be sending an innocent man to his death."

"I am a selfish man like Raito. It would be the way we think." L replied, smiling for the first time. It was the truth. They were both childish and selfish. If things didn't go their way, they would find a way to get it their way. He just hoped it wouldn't have to be that way. Before he could say anything else, he began to cough loudly and hard. It hurt his chest and he knew that time was running out. He wasn't going to make it to see if Raito would change. He lied about killing Raito off if he were to die. Only way Raito would die was if Kira started to kill again. He left Matt with the details and swore the young man not to reveal it to anyone. He trusted Matt to do what he told him. His emotions best him this time around.

At the Yagami household, Raito stared at his ceiling, wondering why it was so important to give up his memories. He told L he couldn't do it but L refused to be with him. Why couldn't he keep his memories and still be with L?

Ryuk chuckled, "What has gotten into you? The Raito I knew would be plotting against his enemy."

Raito rolled over and mumbled, "It is different." He closed his eyes and fell asleep to the laughter of his shinigami.

_Everywhere he walked lay bodies, broken and bloody. He made him sick and he wanted to vomit. But his legs made him continue walking through every body. He stopped in front of a building he knew in his past life. He needed to go inside but his body was shaking out of fear. He had to go to L. He ran through the building, heading to the one place he knew would hold L. When he went inside the main room, he called, 'L.' _

'_So Kira-kun has came to finish me off.' _

_He stepped forward, breathing hard as he answered, 'No.'_

'_Kira-kun.' _

'_Please stop calling me that.' _

_Everything spanned around and his hand was wrapped around L's pale throat. He was squeezing the life out of the older man. He knew he was killing the one he loved but he could not stop. Raito screamed, trying to stop his hand from choking the life out of L. Those dark eyes just looked at him with so much sadness. He felt tears falling from his eyes and he begged his body to stop. When he regained power, he pulled back. He got L's body before it landed on the floor. He shook the older man and begged, 'Get a hold of yourself. You have to.' _

Raito woke with tears falling down his face. He bit his lip to stop the scream ready to leave his throat. He never wanted to see L die again. It hurt too much and he didn't understand why he felt this way. The first life, he was rejoicing to have his enemy lay dead at his heels. No, that wasn't true. Part of him felt remorse and guilt for killing L. He knew now that he set up his own death. He ensured it. He crawled out of bed and headed to his laptop. As he sat down in front of it, he opened up the files sent to him. If he couldn't sleep, then it would be a good idea to start work.

"I see Raito-kun cannot sleep."

"You should be asleep and resting, L."

"I do not need sleep."

"I have seen you need sleep."

"Kira-kun is sharp with his replies."

"Kira is dead like you said."

"Is he?"

"Yes." Raito growled. Why couldn't L understand that he refuses to be Kira again? He wouldn't take that way again. He just wanted L.

"Raito cannot keep his memories of being Kira."

"You still believe I will continue my work."

"I believe Kira has a hold on Raito-kun. He would rise again."

"Kira is just a name. It is not a person. I have totally control over becoming Kira again or not."

"Does Raito not understand I will end his life if he does not give up being Kira?"

"I have to go to bed." Raito said, shutting down his laptop. He didn't want to hear a threat to his life from the man he feels for. He flopped back onto his bed, glaring at the ceiling. He had to stop this and fast. How could he stop L from threatening him and keep his memories?

The next day, Raito moved around, tired. He didn't sleep at all last night. Not only was he thinking of ways to stop L from threatening him, every time he did fall asleep, he would dream about L's death. He sat at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. It was a good thing that he didn't have school today. He might not be able to stay awake through the courses. It wouldn't matter since he was ahead in his classes but that would mess up his perfect image.

His little sister bounced into the room and sat down at the table. With a happily smile adoring her face, Sayu asked, "Hey, brother, can you help me with some math work before I have to head to school?"

"You mean do your homework for you." Raito replied with a small smile tugging at his lips. His sister laughed loudly when his mother walked into the room. His sister dumped the book onto the table and he began to help her with her math work. The door bell rang and he wondered who was coming. His mother went to answer the door. He continued to help his sister.

Walking into the kitchen with a worry woman at his heels, Watari spoke, "Yagami-kun." When Raito looked at him surprised, he dropped the bomb, "Ryuuzaki is in the hospital."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews/comments for the story. I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter Nine:

He dropped the book in his hand. The sound echoed around the room. No one said a word. How could it have happened? He just talked to the older man the night before. What was wrong with L? As he looked down, he whispered, "I want to see him."

"I was hoping you would say that." Watari replied. "He will need a friend."

Sayu looked at her brother and the mysteriously elderly man. She knew that Ryuuzaki was more than just a friend. Even if her brother denied it, she could see it in his eyes that he felt more than friendship for Ryuuzaki. She glanced back at her mother to see a worry expression on her face.

Raito smiled at his family even though it was fake. He wanted them to know he was okay even though he wasn't. He followed Watari out of the house. What could have happened? As he slid into the car, he asked, "What happened?"

"His fever wouldn't break. I had to fight with him to go to the hospital. Sadly, when we got there, he went into a coma."

Everything seemed to freeze by those words. He didn't want to lose L. Why did he feel like this? He felt the car drive away from his house. He wanted to go near L but at the same time he wanted to run away. His dreams came back to his mind and he felt his stomach do a flip. Raito closed his eyes to stop the tears from escaping only to picture L's lifeless body. Snapping his eyes open, he whispered, "No."

Watari didn't say anything. He knew the young man was in turmoil. It was the same with L. They would never admit that they needed each other that they were in love with each other.

When they got to the hospital, Raito followed Watari to the room, restless. He didn't want to see L like this. L was strong and powerful, not weak or defenseless. As he entered the room, he saw L hooked up to machines and he hated to see the other so lifeless. It remained him of his nightmares. Ryuk floated through the wall, almost scaring him. He sat by the bed, picking up L's lifeless hand. He felt the heat and saw the paleness. L looked dead and it made him panic a little, but the machines told him that the older man was alive.

"I will leave you now." Watari spoke as he left the room.

Ryuk stared down at the locked hands and mumbled, "You feel for him."

"Shut up."

"You love him."

"Shut up damn shinigami."

Ryuk howled in laughter, "The great Kira is in love with his greatest enemy. I never saw that one coming. I never thought you swung that way."

Raito turned and glared at the shinigami haunting him. He wished he could get rid of Ryuk for a few hours but he knew that the shinigami would follow him until either he gave up the death note or he died. Turning back to the unmoving detective, he rubbed L's hand with his thumb, trying to gain a response. He sighed sadly and spoke from his heart instead of his head, "You know you can't die like this. It isn't our way. We fight each other until we take each other down. L, please come back. I know it is strange to hear raw emotions within my voice but you need to come back."

Outside the room, Watari sighed sadly and looked down at the note he possessed. When Yagami walked over, he looked up at the man who looks worry. Glancing back inside, he spoke, "You worry for your son."

"It is not like him to have a close friend and it would seem Ryuuzaki became that." Yagami answered with the truth. He never saw his son stay friends with someone longer than an hour. It worried him that his son didn't have friends or close relationships but he always thought it would get better as his son got older. But it didn't. Instead it got worse. It surprised him to have a guest over for dinner that was Raito's friend. To learn that friend was the great L, he wondered if it was case related. He thought wrong. It was Raito's attitude the night before that showed him that L and his son did become close friends even in the short period of time.

As he leaned against the wall, looking into his ward's room, Watari retorted, "You seem to have questions."

"Who was Kira?"

"A beast that is taking L's life."

"What do you mean?"

"I do not know the entire story myself. Only L does but what I have heard, L is suffering for Kira."

"Why?"

"Because he wished to save Kira."

"I do not understand."

"You will not unless you believe in the supernatural."

"You are trying to tell me that Kira exist in the realm of supernatural."

Turning away from his ward's room, Watari stared into Yagami's eyes and replied, "Kira is your son."

"That is impossible."

"Yagami-san, you show the fight between them. They were not speaking of anyone else but each other. They have fought in a time and now they are doing it again. This time though, L wants to save Yagami-kun."

In the hospital room, Raito looked at L's pale face, wishing to see those soulless eyes again. He leaned over and whispered, "Wake up, damnit. You know that you can't lose like this."

Ryuk chuckled, "It looks like you are going to kiss him."

He ignored the shinigami. He couldn't lose L like this. It wasn't fair. He just learned what the other man meant to him. He leaned down and kissed those lifeless lips. He wanted a response but he wasn't getting one. Sitting back on his seat, Raito mumbled, "I would do anything to get you back."

Outside the room, Yagami stared stunned. He couldn't believe his son just kissed L. Turning to look at the elderly man, he mumbled, "You knew that…"

"Yes. I have been told. Sadly neither of them will admit it to each other. They are too proud to admit that they need each other. I would say this happened before in their first lives."

"Their first lives?"

"Where Kira was truly a monster and ended criminals' lives. He was not very merciful."

"That isn't my son."

"Oh but it was. L and him fought against each other until L fell to Kira's hands and Kira fell to the hands of L's heirs. They both died in that time. L made a pact to give Yagami-kun a second chance. Now, it is up to Yagami-kun."

"I just don't believe it."

"Believe it or not. It is the truth."

Inside the room, Raito closed his eyes. He didn't want to see L lifeless. L was meant to be strong and powerful, not powerless and weak. As he felt the older man's hand move, he opened his eyes to stare at L. Leaning over the thin body, he whispered, "L."

L mumbled, trying to fight back his fear, "Kira."

"Kira is gone."

"Kira stop. Kira please stop. Please."

"Stop what?"

"I WANT RAITO-KUN BACK!" L yelled while tossing and turning.

Raito pulled back, startled by the outburst. He didn't know what to say to those words. He stared down, wanting to stop L's nightmares. But he was the one who caused them. He lowered his head and whispered, "I would do anything to stop those nightmares of yours."

Ryuk chuckled darkly, "But you can't. You caused them."

Raito knew that but he didn't want to hear it. When he heard the older man scream out Kira's name, he backed up. He needed to leave. He needed to run away. When did he run away from anything? He faced death straight in the eye. As he sat down, he grabbed L's hand and mumbled, "If I could change the past, then I would have just been Raito."

"But the Kira Case was what brought you two together."

"I rather we never met than him suffering like this." Raito spoke without meaning to. He didn't want anyone else to know what he felt. His emotions could hurt him and he learned to keep them at bay.

Outside the room, Yagami leaned against the wall beside Watari. While staring inside the room, he sighed, "You are telling me that this is a second chance for my son, who in his past life was the most dangerous serial killer known to man and he fought against L in that battle."

"Yes. In the end Kira died by the hands of those who succeeded L."

Yagami stared straight into the room. He didn't want to believe such things about his son, but he saw the fight between L and Raito. He saw how they weren't talking about anyone else. He wanted to storm into the room and shake his son. How could his son think that the world was better off without criminals? Well, he could see his son's point of view, but to go as far as killing them. He clinched his hands into fists and glared inside the room.

Noticing the change within Yagami, Watari laid a hand onto the man's shoulder and replied, "This is their fight. They must work this out."

"But I could stop this."

"No one can stop it expect them two. They have to stop it."

Inside the room, Raito laid his head onto L's hand. L stopped tossing and turning. He wished to hear that monotone voice. He wanted to see those soulless eyes. He never felt like this before but he knew it hurt. It hurt so badly that it almost felt like a heart attack. He would have sworn that Ryuk was writing his name if he knew better. As he glanced at the shinigami, he asked, "Do you have any idea how to save him?"

"No."

"You are lying."

"No, I am not."

"Yes you are. I can tell when you lie. I have known you for too long."

Outside the room, Yagami tilted his head and asked, "Is he talking to L?"

"I doubt it."

"Then who is my son talking to?"

"What I understand, he must be talking to a shinigami."

"They don't exist."

"L told me they do and I believe him."

"This is insane."

"Yes, that is what I thought, but L has never misled me before."

Back inside the room, Raito turned away from the lying shinigami. There has to be a way to save the older man. He just has to figure it out. L told him to give up his memories. Is that what he must do to save L? As he looked back at the lifeless body, he spoke, "I forfeit it."

Ryuk tilted his head and asked, "Huh?"

Turning to look at the shinigami, Raito replied, "I give up the death note. I refuse to become Kira again and for that I do not need to own the death note."

"About time! I was getting tired hanging around you when you weren't writing in it. Damn, she better be happy about this. I did what she told me to."

"Who?"

"No time to explain. It is time to say farewell." Ryuk mumbled. "Bye."

Everything stopped and Raito slump over L's body. As he opened his eyes, he looked around the room to see his father and Watari in the room. Looking back at L, he asked, "Did I fall asleep?"

"Raito, I know."

Glancing at his father, Raito asked in a confused voice, "What are you talking about?"

"Raito…"

"I told him about your partnership with L. You are closer than friends." Watari spoke quickly. Something is different within the young man and he hoped it was that Kira was gone completely.

Keeping a straight face, Raito replied, "He told you."

"I am his guardian, so of course he told me."

"That was private."

"He seemed it was important for me to know."

"I can't believe that man. I swear I will…" Raito began to say but shut his mouth as he looked back at the unmoving body. He sat back down and stared at the older man. He needed the other to wake up. Why wasn't he waking up? He knew that the other should for some strange reason.

'_I forfeit it.' _

What did he forfeit? Why wasn't the other man waking up? As he shook L's hand, Raito said, "Wake up. You are supposed to wake up." He didn't know why he knew the other was meant to wake up. He ignored everyone else in the room. All that mattered was L.

Yagami laid a hand on his son's shoulder. By what Watari said, it was not a good idea to say what he really knew. Watari explained everything to him. His son had to give up the power to kill to save L. He looked down at the greatest detective. He still could not believe that the greatest detective alive was a young man no older than his twenties and to top it off what L said at the diner table that he started to solve cases at the age eleven. Sighing loudly, he spoke, "Raito, come on. The visit hours are almost up and you need to rest at home."

"I can't leave when he will wake up."

"I am happy to hear Raito-kun is concern for me but I will be all right." L spoke, keeping his eyes closed. He knew that the time has past, but was afraid to see nothing again. Will he be able to see again? Will he be blind until he dies?

Jumping up from his seat, Raito yelled, "Fuck you bastard! I don't care."

L opened his eyes unable to see anything. He sighed sadly. It would figure that he would continue to be blind. As he heard some shuffling sounds, he sighed, "I told you not to bring him, Watari."

"I presumed you would want a friend to be here for you."

"We aren't friends."

"You bastard! I think we are a little past friendship!" Raito yelled without realizing that his father and Watari are in the room. When he noticed a small flush onto L's face, he asked, "Are you still feeling unwell?"

"Raito-kun could have left out private things from the others in the room." L answered. At least he can see shadows again. It meant that maybe he would gain his eye sight back. He sat up feeling needles and other stuff hooked up to him. Sighing annoyed, he continued to speak, "Watari I want out of here now."

Raito spoke before Watari could say anything, "You are not leaving until the doctors clear you."

"I do not have to stay here if I do not wish to."

"You are being stupid. You went into a coma because of your fever. There is no way I am letting you walk out of here without the doctors clearing you."

"How does Raito-kun plan to stop me?"

"I will tie you down if I have to." Raito growled.

"I do not want to hear Raito-kun's sexual fantasies." L replied, getting the younger man to stop talking. He heard some one cough uncomfortable. He sighed. He didn't want to say that but it got what he wanted; Raito to be quiet.

Yagami looked at Watari, who just stood there without showing any discomfort. He looked at his son who was looking like a fish, opening and closing his mouth. Finally, he asked, "Does he do this often?"

"He does not like to lose." Watari answered.

"Well he isn't winning this fight. He is staying, end of story." Raito finally said.

"We will see about that." L responded.

Watari shook his head and stated, "I will get the doctor."

As Watari walked to the door, Raito spoke, "You are not serious letting him leave."

Turning to look at the young man, Watari answered, "He is right. No one can hold him against his will. He can leave if the doctor clears him." He left the room to get L out of the hospital. Raito didn't understand that L could not stay in hospitals for a long time before they started to ask questions about his identity.

Yagami stared at the two young men, arguing about it. He sighed and stepped out. He got what Watari meant. No one knew this one young man was L and his identity would be asked. He leaned against the wall, looking over to see Watari talk to the doctor. He wondered how the elderly man would get L out of here with the doctor's approval.

Inside the room, L took out the needles in his arm and took off the other stuff on him. He listened to Raito argue. He smiled behind his thumb. Yes, Kira was gone completely. He knew it because he was alive. After a few minutes of hearing Raito rant, he leaned forward and kissed Raito to shut him up. He was tired of hearing the young man talk.

Pulling away from the kiss, Raito stared shock at the other man. It felt like heaven. It felt good to have those lips touch his again. He was confused though. Did L want to be with him or was it a way to win the argument? As he leaned down, he decided to let that go and kiss the older man, taking control of the kiss. He wasn't going to let L win against him. He was going to be dominate plain and simple. He noticed the small blush on L's cheeks. It made him feel lightheaded to have this kind of power over the older man.

When the kiss was broken, L was left breathless and panting. He wanted the other man all to himself but it was a mistake. They could never get this close. Before lips fall onto his again, he placed his hand in the way. Closing his eyes sadly, he spoke, "This is not what we should be doing. We cannot have a relationship."

"Why?"

"You work for me."

"I took the L title."

"Even though you have taken over the L title, you still work under me. Raito-kun and I cannot be together."

"Yes we can, you just don't want to try." Raito spoke and stood up. He looked at L again and continued, "You want me. I know you do. Maybe when you figure it out, then you will see me again." He left looking proud. When he went out the door, he saw his father standing there. Glancing back into the room, he said, "Let's go home. I'm sure mom and Sayu are worried."

"Are you not going to wait until he is released?"

"Knowing him, he will be out within thirty minutes. He doesn't want my company. So I am leaving." Raito explained.

Yagami stared at his son than glanced into the hospital room. He could see what Watari meant by them being too proud to see what they have. He sighed. There was no way in telling his son to go back in there and have what he really wants. He nodded his head and walked away with his son following him.

L sat in the room alone. It was no different than the past. If that was true, then why did it hurt more? He was never one to get lonely. He always had his cases to fall back on. Turning his head, he mumbled, "Without my sight, I do not even have that."

Watari walked into the room to see L looking around. He knew the other wasn't seeing anything. He spoke up, "I have convinced the doctor to let you go."

He stood up shakily but he could hold on. He walked forward and Watari helped him out of the hospital. L didn't need someone by his side. He wouldn't think about it. It was a mistake being with Raito. As he got into the car, he leaned back, pulling his legs up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his legs. Soon, he would have Raito work on cases again. It would be fine.

At the Yagami household, Raito explained that Ryuuzaki was alright. He got his family stop worrying. He sat in his room, staring at the computer. There were case files on there that he needed to solve. He was different. He didn't want to solve them alone. He wanted to work with L, not for him. He sighed annoyed that he was getting worked up about the ordeal. L didn't want to be with him and he should be fine with that decision. Of course, he wasn't. He was never rejected before. Everyone fell to their knees for a date with him. He just didn't understand why L didn't want him. He was perfect, a genius, and beautiful. What more did L want? He typed on the laptop, solving the cases.

'_I forfeit it.' _

He didn't understand what he forfeited. He did it to save L. What could it have been? Raito sighed again and lay down on his bed. He closed his eyes to only see the nightmares about L's death. He hated seeing them. He didn't want those nightmares. As he opened his eyes, he whispered to the empty room, "I am in love with him."

At a hotel, L stared out the window, at least seeing shadows of things. He turned around when he heard someone walking into the room. He sighed, "I presume he is solving cases again."

"You could have been happy with him."

"I cannot forget the past like he can."

"Is that the real reason you are pushing him away?"

"It is not Watari's business."

"You keep saying that. Maybe you should look at your own emotions and figure out what you truly want."

He listened to his caretaker walk away. What he really wanted was Raito? Yes, he already admitted that. Could he really tell Raito the truth? As he flopped onto his chair, he sighed, "He could do a lot better than me." He turned on his computer that sat next to him to hear the beeps of coming in reports. Pressing his speaker on, he spoke, "Raito-kun."

"I thought you did not want to talk to me." Raito answered coldly.

L closed his eyes. He knew he would have to tell Raito what he really wanted. He just wasn't sure how. They both were very proud men. They didn't give into anyone. If they wanted to be together, one of them had to. He opened his eyes, able to start to see things more and responded, "This pride of mine, I forfeit it." Raito began to say something but he stopped talking. L only hoped that Raito understood what he meant.

Raito sighed, "We are really fools. Both of us have so much pride."

"Yes, that is why I am giving my up."

"I swore I said that once." Raito responded. "It doesn't matter. We can do this. We can be together."

"I am glad Raito-kun sees it that way."

An hour later, Raito showed up at the hotel, staring at L. He could have L now. L was in his power and was all his. He leaned forward and kissed L.

L leaned back to the kiss. Yes, he could give up some of his pride to be with Raito. When the kiss was broken, he smiled. In front of him was a young beautiful man. He touched Raito's face and whispered, "I can see."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, if I did L would have never died.

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Raito/L

Summary: Raito is dead, but what happens if L wants him have a second chance? What is the price to save a friend?

Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews/comments for the story. I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter Ten:

Ten weeks later:

Raito sat there, staring at the computer scene. He needed some sleep but it would seem the case was harder than he thought. Leaning back in his chair, he glanced over at the detective who refused to give up. Standing up, he sighed, "I need some sleep."

"All right."

"L."

"Yes."

"I know that you are happy that you have your sight back but you need sleep too." Raito explained. He didn't want to tell the older man, the only reason he begged L to go to sleep with him was because when L wasn't by his side he would dream of the older man's death. It felt odd to tell the other that.

Sighing loudly, L turned his chair around to look at his partner. They agreed the L title would be shared and they would solve cases together. After ten weeks ago, Raito moved in with him. He wasn't very pleased but he couldn't argue with it. He decided to stay in Japan. He visited the Wammy House once in a while. Sighing again, he asked, "What is this about?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"For the past few nights, you have been trying to get me to sleep sooner than my normal time."

"L, you do not sleep at all."

"My point is why does Raito keep trying."

"I worry for your health."

Staring at his lover, L sighed annoyed. His lover could lie well but he knew it was a lie. He let go of his pride and stood by Raito's side. He had hope Raito would talk to him freely. Turning to look at the computer again, he spoke, "If Raito-kun will not tell me why he wants me to go to bed so early, then I am heading back to work."

"I want sex." Raito blunted out. When he noticed L's cheeks and neck color, he leaned over the chair, wrapping his arms around L's body. He whispered into L's ear, "I want you so badly it is painful."

"We could have sex after this case is solved." L said, feeling his face heat up even more. It has been forever since they had sex. He didn't want to leave his case unsolved but he did like the idea of having some alone time with his lover. When he felt a wet sensation run up his neck to his ear, he groaned, knowing what his lover was doing, "Raito-kun is… is trying to… to distract me… me from our conversation."

Raito stopped and growled under his breath. Of course, his lover would know what he was doing. They were the same and thought the same way. Looking up at the ceiling, he revealed, "I keep having nightmares of you dying. It… well… it…" He couldn't finish his statement.

"I see."

"You have no idea what I was…"

"It frightens Raito when I am not beside him." L finished as he turned to face his lover. They really do understand each other. He didn't have time when his lips were captured by Raito's. He leaned into the kiss. Yes, it was nice and it was heaven.

Pulling the older man up, Raito whispered, "We should take this into the bedroom." He didn't give L time to reply. He pulled the other with him to their bedroom. Yes, he was happy to be with L but he didn't need to say it.

When he was pushed on to the bed, L stared up at the Raito. He saw the lust within those honey eyes. He wanted to pull his legs up to his chest but he knew Raito hated when he did that. As he lay there, he wondered what the other man would do.

Raito looked into the drawer by the bed. Smirking, he pulled out handcuffs. So, he liked it a little rough. L didn't mind or at least he never said anything. He leaned over L and asked, "Want some?"

Looking at the handcuffs, L laughed loudly. Raito gave him a confused look, but he couldn't stop laughing. It was his thing in the past having handcuffs and to see them again made him think of their past lives. He wondered if they admit that they liked each other then would they have used them. He tilted his head and spoke through his laughter, "I would like to try." He really was giving up his pride.

Raito smirked down at his lover. Oh he had plans. Pulling L over his lap, he whispered, "Then you won't mind me doing this for not listening to me earlier."

Squirming on top of Raito's lap, L spoke, "I have no idea what you mean." Yes he did. He made Raito reveal his feelings. He hated when people would make him reveal his emotions and he knew Raito was the same way. He froze when he felt Raito's hand massaging his bottom. He turned his head and asked, "What is Raito-kun doing?"

Raito said nothing but pulled the lose jeans down to L's ankles. As he rubbed L's behind softly, molding his hands into the skin, he spoke, "You know how I do not like it when you confront my emotions. It makes me feel like you are testing me."

"I test everything."

"I do not like it." Raito repeated as he swung his hand hard against L's ass.

L squirmed and tried to get away from Raito's hand but he felt another smack against his thigh. He froze in place and wondered how it felt so good when it was so humiliating. He turned his head and sighed, "No matter what I say…" He stopped when he felt a moan building up. He bit his lip as Raito's hand landed hard on his behind. Yes, he was enjoying this and he knew Raito realized it. It was hard to miss his hardness against Raito's leg. He rubbed against Raito's pants to feel more heat building up.

Pulling L up, Raito kissed those lips hard. It was pleasure for him that L trusted him enough to do this to him. As he threw L back onto the bed, he stripped his clothes and climbed onto of L. Pulling L's shirt off of him, he pulled the blanket over their nude bodies. They squirmed against each other, feeling each other up. They were once again trying to dominate each other. He won in the end.

L was panting loudly and trying to gain his breath. He wanted Raito to already make love to him. As he searched the side table, he found the lube and threw it at Raito. Raito looked at him and he panted, "Do… not… not make me say it. I will… will only be… be pushed so… so far before I put… put a stop to it."

Raito stared at L for a few moments. He knew he couldn't push L anymore. He grabbed the handcuffs and pulled L's hands to the headboard. He locked L's wrists up. He spread L's legs apart and thrust in a finger. When he saw L's eyes show so much lust, he moaned himself. It was rare to see emotions in L's eyes and when it did happen, it made him hard.

Squirming on the bed, a mess from the fingers thrusting in and out of him, L ordered, "Fuck me already."

Raito didn't need to be told twice. He was at his point to. He threw L's legs over his shoulders and thrust in hard. He watched L's face to see the painful expression. He leaned down and kissed L, trying to distract him from the pain. When he felt L thrust upwards, he couldn't stop. He lost all control and began to thrust inside hard and rough. They moved together, dancing with each other, making love. Kisses were exchanged and the sounds of moans echo into the room. The chain rattled when L pulled at the handcuffs. It was too much for both of them and they came together with each other's names rolling of their lips. As he flopped beside L, Raito breathed heavy, "That was fun."

"Speak for yourself. My wrists are going to be bruised."

Raito unlocked the handcuffs and asked, "Why were you laughing about handcuffs?"

L turned to look at Raito and shook his head. When Raito gave him a look, he leaned over and kissed Raito. Pulling back, he replied, "Reminded me of a case I had a long time ago."

"It was funny about handcuffs."

"I once locked my person to a suspect. He was innocent and sent free. It reminded me of how difficult it was between us." L finally confessed.

"You are MINE." Raito hissed and pulled L into a heated kiss. Yes, L was his and the cases of the past where that the past.

L smiled and lay by his lover. Yes, the past was his to remember and only his too remember. It was time to move forward and forget about his first life.

A female looked at the two young men shaking her head amused. With a gentle smile, she whispered unheard by anyone else, "Finally you both saw the truth."


	11. Author Note

Thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and alerts. I glad you enjoyed the story.

I'm writing a new story and I hope you check it out. It is called Awaken. Here is the link without spaces.

http: //www. fanfiction. net /s/5445099/1/


End file.
